Your mates are getting married, this statement have put so many young ladies into life threatening, career destroying troubles and broken homes in Nigeria and Africa as a whole.
The society sees unmarried ladies as irresponsible, prostitutes (especially if they are growing in their respective chosen careers). They see marriage as a life achievement, like the married lady is very successful, they see married ladies as elderly not minding their ages.
The parents (not an understanding parents) of unmarried ladies sees their children as not good enough for a man, like they are not exhibiting the trainings given to them outside, like they are after their marital life (that’s why they run from one church or mosque or herbalist to another), like they are not spiritual enough, they start comparing them to other people, that’s where ‘your mates are getting married will come in’.
Their married counterparts will start seeing them like irresponsible, like they are kids (I always get complaints at my office that the married ladies sees the single ladies like they are kids, one was so angry sometimes ago that she shouted at her colleague while in an executive meeting).
Most guys see them sometimes like they have bad attitude that’s why they are not married, they see them like they are following the wrong set of guys, like they are desperate to marry.
These things are so wrong, very wrong. We need to be in their shoes before concluding. So many of them go through a lot of heartbreaks, some go through emotional torture, some are mainly after their careers, so they see marriage as a priority. They have their plans set but just like other plans, they might not achieve them immediately.
It’s better to marry late than to marry wrong.
The next worst thing after hell fire is a bad marriage.
We need to start changing our orientations on issues like marriage, because what works for A mill/might not work for B, different strokes for different folks.
There is this lady that set her career before anything in my office sometimes ago, at age 30, she has bagged her second masters and was planning to go for her third masters at the UK the following year, then came her parents with ‘your mates are getting married’ issue. Then she started searching for a man that will suit her taste but all to no avail, her friends were matching her with different guys, but they just seem not to be compatible, but the pressure was just too much from the Mum. Before we knew it, she was 36, then all the guys she was coming across were only after her money.
What will she do in this case?
Who will she complain to?
How will she get a man who will love her truly?
Where will she go to?
Why will she settle for less?
Meanwhile, so many groups of people were saying all sort of things to her, telling her she was too pompous, not respectful, not down to Earth, but none of them knew what she has tried underground to make things work.
It got to a stage that she concluded that she’s not marrying anyone that she was going to adopt two children.
She loves dogs so much that she has more than 5 different species of dog breeds. She bought a rare specie of dog from America sometimes ago but the mum was angry with her that she poisoned the dog, the Mum said ‘give me a grandchild, you’re giving me a dog’.
Then came a time when she was so sick, she was taken to the hospital and was diagnosed with liver problem. They couldn’t treat her here in Nigeria, so the company sponsored her to USA for full treatment.
It’s there she met the love of her life, a black guy who’s also a Nigerian. They wedded, and within a year, she gave birth to a set of triplets, two boys and a girl.
Gods time is the best, if she had listened to what people are saying or succumbed to her parents pressure and married wrongly, only God knows what will have become of her.
Please let’s change our attitude and ways of thinking towards our unmarried ladies around us, we’re guilty of these things one way or the other, directly or indirectly.
Thanks for your time.
God bless you
