Most times when people don't date or have a very serious relationship, please, don't be too quick to pass your judgment.
Life must have happened.
Life does not play fair.
They're probably taking out their time to heal and choose right.
2years in Lagos, my friend met this very wonderful man who wanted nothing but to be married to her.
He's smart, intellectual, good-looking, averagely rich, smells good.. one who can hold a conversation intellectually.. (But there was something off about him that made me caution my friend to keep on observing him).
He wanted marriage.
My friend wanted friendship...
Anyways, fast forward to their dating, my friend saved her money because the man's driver was there to pick her up from work at Ikoyi and take her back to her house at Bad or even somewhere in Lagos.
Friday nights were always dinner at one fancy restaurant and later they club all the way at oldies in Ikoyi, Victoria Island, or Ikeja.
I asked my friend to question him to know if he was married before she could commit more in the relationship, he claimed to be a widower with 2kids all boys.
I told my friend to also tell him she is a single mother too...
Again, there was something not settling about him.
Was sex involved? (No)
Was cuddling involved! (Yes)
He respected the fact that she said, sex should be on hold for the time being.
Was my friend happy? (Yes/No) yes, she was happy because she thought; she was finally leaving her past to have a future with someone who seems to be caring.
No, my friend wasn't happy because something was off!.
Curiosity in me made me ask my friend to ask him about his marital status again, which he claimed and swore he was a widower and he needs to move on.
In their 4months of dating, my friend never brought him to her shabby self-contained apartment.
Anyways, she doesn't bring men to her house.
She'll have to know you, and trust you to some extent for you to get an invite to her house.
Funny right, that's the kind of person she is, caring, affectionate, loves to be cuddled like a big baby.
Anyways, she wasn't moved to ask for an invite to his residence too.
The relationship grew till it was the 6th month when he told her he was traveling to the UK for a business trip, and when he comes back, they will be going to Port Harcourt and Togo to see her family
The week he traveled, my friend got a job through a referral from one of her clients she cooked at VGC.
Did I tell you that my friend is a chef with great culinary skills, too sensitive when it comes to hygiene, fast forward to the cooking job?
The young man wanted her to cook for a 35years wedding anniversary for his parents and his mom's 58th birthday...
She gladly took the job..( it was one of her best jobs in Lagos where she got to show her culinary creativity and cooking skills).
The day of the event came and after cooking, we packed and headed to Ikoyi where...well when I said us, I joined to assist her because I was less busy that day...
source
Guess whose face was on the backdrop at the entrance of the house?
You guess right
Mr. supposed widower.
Was my friend shocked? No.... because my intuition guided hers and that was why she didn't commit to the relationship easily.
Was she disappointed? Yes
Was she angry! Yes... She was angry that she was lied to
Did she feel used? Absolutely!
Anyways, we went about our business...
She was professional.
Was she comfortable? YES.
Was he? NO.
His friends came greeting her one after the other.
source
After the event, we packed and left...
Before we got to the gate, she had like 15missed calls... all from Mr widower.
After 3weeks, I asked her to oblige him to an audience to speak about the lie he has left.
Her only question, was WHY?
He just couldn't answer.
If you had wanted a side Chic or a second wife, you should have been bold enough to say it.
Speaking out your truth doesn't hurt.
Those were the exact words she spoke to him.
She left... Because she couldn't stand the taste of a relationship built on lies.. and trust me, she's not an object to be hidden.
Her question was why the lie?
At what point does an adult need to stop lying just to get laid?
If she hadn't been true to her instinct, probably she would have gotten a crown over her head and probably a house in Ibeju Lekki...
So dears, stop asking an adult when he/she needs to get married or start having kids... You don't know their past.
