Everyone arrives at a defining moment in their life. Usually, more than once. Sometimes these moments are full of joy and sometimes they are full of pain. A defining moment is a very important point in your life because it is the matrix by which your life will materialize. Meaning, maybe you married someone when you really weren’t in love with that person and had three children. The defining moment was when you chose to marry them, knowing you weren’t in love with them.
Or maybe you were offered a hand in marriage and knew you weren’t in love with them and lovingly declined the offer. These two scenarios are defining moments in action. They are going to determine your happiness over time. It is these moments that make up our quality of life or lack thereof.
It is how we make these decisions that is the most important part of making choices that benefit you. Maybe you married that person because you felt safe or you knew they would make a good parent. Maybe they were wealthy and you felt like they would be a good provider for your family. Whatever the reason you made this decision, the measure of your happiness is going to be the key to making choices that benefit you.
There’s one last defining moment that happens to a person. I call it Divine discontent. This is when someone grows out of or beyond their current circumstances. For example, it’s when a child grows out of playing with dolls and simply wishes to do something else. When you have decided that you’ve outgrown something, we often feel restless inside. We are looking for that next level of consciousness that will benefit our well-being. When we get to these places, we want to make choices that are going to benefit us.
I want to share with you three ways that I make choices in order to benefit my highest and best good.
Ask yourself questions that help you discern: When I feel restlessness, I ask myself, “What is it that I’m Restless about?” Do I need to shift everything in my life or do I just need an adventure in my life? When I get a feeling of, “Is this all there is?” I know that I need something new in my life. It doesn’t necessarily mean I need to blow up my life in order to have my new experience. This is so important because I know many people have blown up their life simply because they had a feeling of wanderlust, and, have regretted it ever since.
Remember to choose you: Sometimes we rush into things without thinking about how they’re going to affect our lives long term, especially relationships. When you fall in love, it’s good to take your time and let it unfold versus trying to rush into what you think it should be. If someone is trying to force you to hurry up beyond the speed that you would like the relationship to unfold, I would throw up a red flag. Things have their own timing and we often like to push through that timing without allowing it to unfold. We suddenly want to control the outcome versus experience the outcome. When choosing you, it means checking in and asking yourself if this is truly what you want. If you’re feeling respected or honored, are you respecting and honoring them and yourself? You can’t rush love because love just is. When you allow things to unfold, you allow the magic of the universe to show up as well. Choosing you is an art, because we often sacrifice ourselves, thinking that it’s for the greater good. When the truth is, it’s simply somebody else’s agenda. For example, when you work those extra hours at your job even though you don’t want to, thinking it’s for the greater good, it’s really for somebody else’s bottom line. One of the hardest choices you can make is to sacrifice yourself and not Choose You. Making choices that benefit you means saying “No” when it is in your best interest.
Visualize your best life: Many people don’t pay attention to their dreams, not even their daydreams. When you have moments of dreaming, notice what you’re dreaming about. Inside your day dreams are longings. These inner longings will tell you about things that are currently important to you.
They are road maps to things you would like to experience. When you have an idea of the dream life you would like to build, then intentionally visualize that becoming your life. Begin to make a plan to build it. Part of choosing you is allowing yourself, and your dreams to be validated. That means acknowledging what it is that you want. There is a lot of truth in the phrase, “Dare to dream.”
Allowing yourself to grow into what it is that you want to do and be takes courage. It is a bold move towards your new life. Making choices that benefit you means taking small steps every day, that lead to big wins.
Vickie Helm is a bestselling author, business and asset strategist, and the CEO of Smart Group Firm. She has improved the success of more than a thousand companies and the lives of thousands of individuals throughout her career. You can learn more about Vickie at https://thesmartlifeclub.com or https://vickiehelm.com.
