Fuck Your Couch

slydemon(25)
Published in
#couch
Words
147
Reading
1 min
Listen
Play
8y

Your couch sucks. It's terrible. You know it. I know it. So fuck your couch.

Here are ten reasons why your couch might suck:

  1. Your couch smells like ass from people sitting on it.
  2. Your couch doesn't have a pull out bed to sleep on.
  3. If your couch does have a pull out bed, it's only there to try to look better than other couches. Showoff.
  4. Your couch doesn't match the rest of your house.
  5. Your couch smells like an ashtray from smoking indoors... ya fuckin' neanderthal.
  6. Your couch steals money from literally every pocket it sees. Incarcerate that thieving ass couch.
  7. Your couch secretly attracts boogers under the cushions from all your visitors.
  8. Your couch is your cat's choice of litterbox.
  9. Your couch doesn't recline. it just sits there as an oversized paperweight.
  10. Your couch is made of leather so everyone has to stick to it.