Today I was actually able to physically hold my son, that probably doesn’t mean much to anyone who may be reading this, but we’ve always been a close family, and any time the boys would drop by to visit us, they would always give us a hug, and tell us they loved us before they left.
Our youngest has been incarcerated for the last 3 months, and will be for many more, and any contact has only been visible, through a TV screen and a phone handset. Today we had what is called a contact visit. It took 3 weeks to arrange this, and I am very thankful to the lady who made it all possible. It sounds like it would be easy, but it is actually a very complicated process.
When we arrived, we first were instructed to store our valuables in a locker, then we were ushered through a metal detector, and then we were led to a room. Before we got to the room, we saw a guard take our son into the room before us, and he looked out through the small window, and saw us, and he formed the biggest smile I have seen him show for a very long time. There were 4 of us in total, my grandson, my grand daughter, my wife, and myself.
So we got to the room, and hugs and kisses were exchanged, as was many tears. It’s been awhile, and those moments are special, and will be held in our hearts forever. No matter why he was there, didn’t matter, the only thing that did, was we were together, be it a short time.
Some may ask do we forgive him? We have nothing to forgive, his crimes were not directed at us, were we upset by his crimes, most certainly. Why did he do what he did…ADDICTION! Many consider addiction a disease, me personally, I look at it as a weakness, a human flaw that some of us have and let it take over our normal thinking process. Something we have to work on, when we are at our most vulnerable. Much like alcoholism, drugs are just as bad, if not worse, after all, most of them can kill you much faster…
So for 45 minutes we had a great visit, was able to talk to our “normal” son, the one who now had regained the weight he lost from his meth diet.The one who I and his brother had worked with side by side for the last several years. The one who was a great dad and partner to his sons mom. (She also was lost to his addiction)
It was a great day, but it was heart breaking as well…
