In the 1960’s most of the Elm trees in the UK were wiped out…Horse Chestnut will soon be gone, Ash too… Fill every square metre of the Natural History Museum with fallen autumn leaves to a depth of 500mm.

Write in small pencil letters in the middle of a wall in a large gallery room - ‘YOUR OPINION DOESN’T COUNT’

Fill every wall of a blacked out gallery room with every type of electrical device left on standby. Mix them all up, so there are constellations of glowing lights, screens, dials, buttons, in all sorts

Pick any icon you like, from any walk of life, and have a life size statue carved in Carrara marble. Place the statue on a pedestal made from the same stone in the centre of a gallery room. Visitors to

Have an 18ct gold statue made of Lady Justice, she will be holding the traditional scales in one hand and an AK47 in the other. Make her around 3m tall and have the scales and AK in proportion, she will

Make a 3m high stepladder out of 18c gold, stand it in the middle of a gallery room.

Have a lifesize cast made in silver, of an attack dog. Place it on a street corner.

Tip a ton of Afghan heroin onto a gallery floor, and smooth it out to a depth of 5 or 6mm. Make sure it’s the brown one, so it looks like the desert. Get a 1:50 scale model of Kabul made and put it in

Recreate a typical ‘cubicle’ office environment in a gallery room, with around 500 cubicles, each one numbered on the wall outside, the cubicle walls around 1.5m high. In each cubicle there will be a desk

For as long as there has been aerial warfare, pilots have painted or stuck ‘tallies’ onto their aircraft fuselage, usually under the cockpit, denoting their various ‘kills’. These tallies would denote

Build an outdoor ice rink with one side jutting out over the edge of a cliff. It’s completely possible to skate over the cliff side edge to certain death.

Employ a contract painting company to repaint a large room in a gallery. This should be a real job rather than have any element of artifice, so the team will arrive on site with all the equipment required

Install a pop up ice rink throughout the entire ground level of a gallery. Invite visitors to come for a skate as a novel way of looking at the art, the marketing department will love the idea, something

Have a large maze made like the ones that you see rats being tested in on science programmes and such like. Make the maze about 3m square, and about 150mm high, sat on a table 3m square, the table should

Buy 10,000 grapefruits. Ask 10,000 Japanese women to make one origami basket each, to suit a grapefruit. Place each of the grapefruits in it’s basket, and then give them away, anywhere you like.

An art form called Descriptive Art, made to exist only in the mind of the reader, the piece is completed in the readers imagination. All work © simianAmber

Place a cushion on a 1200mm high by 400mm square plinth in the middle of a gallery room. The cushion should be the most luxurious, beautiful cushion ever made.