When the office assignment landed on Sumit's desk, it was four o'clock in the afternoon. The project lead, Ranjan-da, placed the file down and said, "You and Tania will have to finish this together. Remember to submit it by tomorrow morning." As soon as Sumit heard Tania's name, his heart momentarily froze. Tania—the one with whom Sumit's relationship had ended three years ago on a stormy rainy day. There hadn't been a major fight; just some misunderstandings and a chest full of resentment had led them to walk in opposite directions. After that, Tania had changed jobs and joined this company just a few months ago. Even though they worked in the same office, Sumit had avoided her from a distance until now. But today, there was no way to escape.
Sumit forced himself to suppress the restlessness within. He didn’t look in the mirror but mentally told himself, 'suppress the feeling'—hold back the emotions, Sumit; you are a professional now.At five o'clock, the two of them sat in the conference room. Tania opened her laptop and said, "So shall we get started?" Her voice sounded just like before. That familiar fragrance, which had once been very dear to Sumit, filled the room's air with weight. Sumit felt a strong urge to ask, 'How are you? Do you still remember the old days?' But he hid a long sigh and pulled the file toward himself. He said, "Yes, I’ll look at the data analysis part; you prepare the presentation."
In the pauses of their work, their eyes met multiple times. When Tania looked out the window while sipping coffee, Sumit felt as if a drop of cloud had gathered in her eyes too. Perhaps Tania was also trying desperately to suppress the storm within her. Neither of them reminded the other of old times. Any resentment or sense of entitlement—everything was confined behind an invisible wall.
It was nine o'clock at night. The work was almost done. As Tania was shutting her laptop, she suddenly said, "Sumit, can I say something?"Without looking up from the file, Sumit replied, "Go ahead.""You still don’t take sugar in your coffee, right?" Tania asked with a gentle smile.
Sumit froze. The mountain of emotions he had been suppressing inside seemed to want to collapse in an instant. But he composed himself. A soft smile appeared on his face as he said, "Yes, the habit hasn’t changed."That was it. Neither had the courage nor the opportunity to express more than that. They were both adults now, having learned to accept the harsh realities of life. By suppressing their personal emotions, they remained mere colleagues at the work desk.
As Sumit was leaving the office, it started to rain. Tania called a taxi and got in. As she glanced at Sumit through the car window, he waved his hand. Neither mentioned sharing an umbrella, nor did anyone say, "Let’s go home together."
Keeping all their feelings hidden away, Sumit walked alone with his umbrella under the rainy night. He knew that sometimes, it is more beautiful to keep some feelings deep within rather than express them.