How often do you hold back from trying something new because you might fail?
Does the idea of failing just make you tense up and your stomach tighten into knots.
Does the possiblity of failing make you freeze in terror?
Do you feel the same reaction to learning something new?
I love the feel of curiousity and possiblity when there’s something new to learn, to explore, to try out. Sometimes I need to explore the subject or try it out more than once as part of the learning process.
So, why the painful reaction to the possiblity of a fail?
We’ve been taught that to fail is to be a loser. To fail is disgraceful. To fail is puts our ability into question.
Yet, if we need to explore or try something we want to learn more than once we accept it as a learning experience. We pick up and do it again and again if we need to.
Now, let’s go back to the fear inducing thought of trying something new because you might fail.
So what if you do fail?
Unless you manage to maim or kill someone, or set off some horrific chain reaction… just what will change?
If you manage to spark WW3 that could be catastrophic. I’m pretty sure you wont be in a position to do that. So, take a big breath, calm down and give that new thing a try.
IF you fail, so what, you made the First Atttempt In Learning the new thing. What’s life without first attempts?
Or even multiple attempts after assessing what didn’t work in the previous attempt. It’s how we learn.
I remember when I was teaching myself to code websites in HTML. I never thought about failing. It was a process of “let’s try this”…. Hmmm didn’t work… look carefully at the code, find what seems off… try again. One step at a time.
I can’t think of anything I have learned that hasn’t involved taking the process one step at a time, backing up to correct and doing it again.
I remember teaching my youngest sister to drive. We were out on a country backroad. I stopped the car, told her to move over beside me and to take control of the wheel. I controlled the brake and gas while she got the feel for the steering wheel.
There were more than a few course corrections but she got it. When I felt she was confident enough, I stopped the car and put her behind the wheel. She was nervous but she’d had some success and was willing to try cautiously.
I was relieved at the caution. Giving her control of the gas pedal wasn’t without reservation.
It takes effort and determination to examine what went wrong, make adjustments and try again. Sometimes, it takes a lot of adjustments before ever getting close to success.
We’re wired for success more than failure. Failure, no matter how small wears us down, it tears at our self-confidence.
The energy and the effort to fight past that wear can feel monumental. It grows exponentially with each effort to accomplish the same task that meets with failure.
The joyous rush of success seems further and further in the distance, the longer the effort takes.
When I’m able to condition my thoughts to see each effort as a learning experience, then they don’t become failures. They become training. That training will make me smarter when I do reach the goal.
Training will build my self-confidence. It will make me ready to take on the next opportunity at the end of the path. It will make me stronger to resist others efforts to tell me ‘no’ when I have the vision to see beyond them.
Balance, always balance and determination.
Shadowspub is a writer from Ontario, Canada. She writes on a variety of subjects as she pursues her passion for learning. She also writes on other platforms and enjoys creating books you use like journals, notebooks, coloring books etc.
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