The African society is a one with very unique characteristics. In the aspect of child upbringing, I must commend their efforts. In Africa, a child is trained not only by his/her parent, the extended family and society also contribute to the child's upbringing. I stayed for some time with my parents during my early years, however, I was raised by my grandparents. We lived in Mushin, a popular area in Lagos state, Nigeria. It was a one-room apartment.
My grandma sells little provisions and firewood at the front of the house. We have another neighbour that sells something similar to hers so it was a survival of the fittest for us as we had to compete for customers. Mushin is a very special environment that trains a child to be extra smart. It is well-known for thuggery and street fighting is quite prevalent in the area.
I was just a village girl who was brought to stay with my grandparents in 2002. In my village, gathering to watch events was fun to us and that was the mindset I brought to Lagos. There was this particular day I was looking at a man and I got carried away to the extent that I almost poured water on my neighbour. The woman showered me with lots of abusive comments and named me "sister looker". Her words got to me so much that I because a person that no longer gets easily distracted. She made me learn how to mind my business.
The greatest embarrassment came from my grandma. Before I proceed with this narration, let me explain that a "brain-reseting slap" is a kind of slap one receives to make you redo what you got wrong at the first attempt. On this beautiful Sunday, I wore one of my hottest gowns as a teenager with lots of friends in church, I was among the church choir and I was told to lead the praise and worship section. I walked majestically to the podium and held the microphone stylishly.
My grandmother was sitting at the front. I was leading the second song when my grandmother beckoned on me to come closer to her. It was actually a local church and the congregation was scanty. I signalled to my backup to continue while I hurried to her side. The next thing I remembered was a kind of darkness that covered the whole place and everyone's gaze was on me.
What just happened? It was the hotness on my right cheek that made me know that my grandma just gave me a brain-resetting slap. She shouted at me saying "What has come over you? You are praising God sluggishly. You are using Oyinbo (white man) accent to praise God and we can barely hear what you are saying". Immediately, I wished the ground could just open up and swallow me. I went back, took a deep breath and sang the way she wanted. Ever since then, any opportunity I had to sing with my grandma at the front row, I sing loudly and more songs in my dialect.
I was angry with her for what she did but when another elderly member of the church called me to make the same complaint, I understood that she did that because she saw that I was becoming full of myself. I wasn't carrying the congregation along. Instead, I was singing to myself, and truthfully, my crush was in the church so I was trying to show off my talent.
I have experienced some embarrassing moments, and reflecting on them makes me see embarrassment as a tool for instilling good behaviour. Although not always, but more of it wouldn't have happened if we had done things the right way.
Thanks for reading through. Have a nice day.