You can dramatically increase your conversational skills by avoiding the most common conversation mistakes.
1. Hogging. The idea of a conversation is to share. That means the other person has an opportunity to speak, also. Limit how much you say before allowing the other person to respond. Be a considerate conversation partner.
2. Interrupting. It’s rude and makes the other person defensive. You had the opportunity to complete your thoughts. Extend the same courtesy. You may think that you already know what the other person was going to say. And that might be true, but it might not. You’ll never know unless you close your mouth and listen.
3. Inappropriate topics. There are some things you can address with close friends that can’t be raised with strangers. A person you barely know might not be comfortable hearing about your colonoscopy or your unfolding divorce proceedings. Be appropriate. Consider a topic carefully before bringing it into the conversation.
4. Inattentiveness. Are you listening or simply waiting for a chance to talk again? Are you paying attention or scanning the room for a friend? Are you being polite or looking for an opportunity to escape? Your ability to maintain a conversation and build your social circle rests in good measure on your ability to focus on your conversation partner.
5. Negative body language. Unfold your arms and appear more inviting. Pay attention to your facial expressions. Smile! You communicate a lot of information with your body language. Do you like to talk with your hands? That can be acceptable in casual situations, but unprofessional in more formal circumstances.
6. Checking your phone. Many people are attached to their phones. They can barely last three minutes without peeking. It’s a poor habit that conveys a lack of self-control and social grace. Others are offended when you take your attention away from the conversation and direct it to your phone.
7. Cursing. When is it appropriate to curse? That’s debatable, but you’ll never have a problem if you never curse. If that seems like a bridge too far, at least save your salty language for those times you’re alone with an old friend. You’ll never create a challenge for yourself by keeping your language clean.
8. Failing to make introductions. Make introductions when appropriate. It can be unprofessional and dismissive to skip the introductions. If you are not used to doing this, you could ask some friends to let you practice with them.
9. Poor pacing. Have you ever listened to someone that spoke very slowly? It can be frustrating because your brain can understand speech that is quite rapid. But listening to someone that speaks very quickly can make you feel stressed or anxious. Find a pace that is comfortable for you and acceptable to others.
How good are your conversation skills? What if your skills were significantly better? Your social life, professional life, and confidence would all receive a boost.
And a quick way to boost your conversation skills is to avoid making these mistakes.
NOTE: These mistakes to avoid are geared to people in western-oriented cultures. If you are interacting with people from other cultures, educate yourself about the best practices for conversations in those contexts and what practices to avoid.
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Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
