Practising being alone and lonely forever

sergiomendes(77)

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Faces of Hive

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2020-06-23 12:25

Not a sad post

For many years now I have decided that I didn't wanted to get involved with other human beings in romantic relationships. It is something I don't see myself doing.

This have many positives but also many negatives! Won't be talking about that today.

All that I have been thinking later is that I need to start practising more this modes. Being alone and isolated. Working in ways that I won't be sad because I will never have anyone there next to me.

I have indeed amazing friends that are always there for me. But we all know that People have their own lifes and having me as a friend with such a different choice in lifestyle might make it more difficult to keep having this relationships closer.

Sadness is my refuge but I want to change that. Because that is not a positive thing that will help me deal with the loneliness I have in front of me.

All the different types of personal relationships I had with people since I was born maybe made me this way. I am 33 Years old now and I was not able to heal from that. The times I have tried Ibhave always came out of it even worst.

That's why I feel that being lonely is the only option for myself.

Many times and because it happened with so many types of different people, I think that the reason I can't have any type of relationships with people it is because of me. I am the problem. I am the one that doesn't have the skills. I am the one failing. And that's when I get the most sad. Because I have for many years been working on becoming the best version of myself. Working on being the best human I can be. But still, apparently, that might not be good enough.