In this article you will learn:
Should children be forbidden to play computer games;
Types of games and what they say about the inner world of the child;
What are the opportunities for development offer computer games.
The child is not interested in learning, but can’t you drag him by the ears from the computer? A very common cause for family quarrels. We hope this article will help parents take a different look at the desire of children to play computer games.
The desire of man to transform reality arose at the moment when he picked up a digging stick. Since then, most of our actions have been aimed at subjugating material reality and modifying the world around us in every possible way.
The implementation of ideas in the material world is inert, sometimes quite a long time elapses between action and result, which cannot be said about the virtual world, where everything happens instantly: “click on the button - you will get the result, your dream will come true”. The virtual world has absorbed without a trace many, for whom the desire to quickly manage reality has become addicted, and the Internet and computer games have become the most desirable way to spend leisure time. Is it good or bad?
The other side of perception
Any phenomenon can have both positive and negative effects; we live in a world of duality, it is not the objects themselves that matter, but the way we perceive them, from which side we look at them.
Contrary to popular belief about the destructive impact of computer games, I propose to look at this phenomenon from the other side, because if it arose, it means there is a need. We are already very far from primitive people, you can’t achieve much with the help of the digging stick in the modern world, our reality sets its own pace of development, and interest in the virtual world arose from the need to keep pace with the times and be able to manage the new reality of the high-tech world.
Path of turtles
In the 1980s, a unique experiment was conducted by Richard Dennis, one of the greatest exchange dealers in the world. Dennis made a bet with William Eckhardt, a similarly successful trader at the Chicago Stock Exchange, arguing that he could turn almost anyone into a successful businessman. Eckhardt believed that the ability to conduct successful trading on the stock exchange was innate, and Dennis argued that this can be easily learned with a certain mindset.
As a result, advertisements appeared in newspapers informing that a group of people wishing to learn trading methods was being recruited and each student would be provided with a one million dollar trading account. But preference is given to people who have extensive experience in computer games and building strategies, as well as a good knowledge of the theory of probability used in games with an element of luck.
The training lasted only two weeks, after which each participant in the experiment received the promised money for management. For 4.5 years they earned an average of over 80% of the starting capital. Richard Dennis won the bet and not only proved that they are not born successful, but become, but also refuted the prevailing opinion that avid players are not able to think and realize themselves in society. This experiment went down in history under the name “Way of turtles”.
Learn more about your child’s passion
Nevertheless, many parents are seriously concerned about the children's enthusiasm for games and forbid the child to play, considering it a waste of time. But isn’t it better to understand the issue before making such harsh conclusions and imposing bans?
All computer games are classified by the following genres:
actions (active actions of different directions);
fighting games (wrestling and battles);
simulation managers (create the ability to reproduce actions and manage to get results);
strategies (complex maneuvers and handling a large number of tools);
adventures or quests (virtual travels and adventures);
music games (for learning music and developing hearing);
role-playing games (created on the basis of popular films and series);
puzzles and logical puzzles (develop thinking).
To get started, find out what kind of games the child plays, look through the game in his inner world. The game reflects the underlying processes that occur in the child. By doing this, you can at least understand what he lacks, what he is trying to compensate, leaving the virtual world.
After you find out what games your child plays and what their meaning is, not only will the hidden corners of his soul be revealed to you, you can also find an alternative occupation for him and redirect his attention to reality. For example, if a child plays "battles", he can be sent to the wrestling section or some martial arts, this will satisfy his warlike spirit and strengthen his body. If he plays action games and quests, go camping with him and arrange outdoor activities. If he likes strategies, offer to play checkers, backgammon or chess.
Strict control does not work
If the above does not help and the child still spends most of the time playing, try to understand why he is moving away from reality in this way. Behavioral regression is primarily a psychological defense, and all defense mechanisms underlie resistance. By imposing a ban, you only increase resistance and protest, which can be expressed in more serious things.
Be that as it may, but playing at the computer, the child is at home, and this is much better than the bad company in the gateway. Do not play as a strict parent who supposedly knows best what is good for the child, become a friend who understands and shares his interests.
Look for opportunities instead of problems
One of my friends, instead of prohibiting her son from playing computer games, subordinated this process to wise control. She began to buy toys for him, carefully choosing their genre and orientation, and said that he can play for as long as he wants, but only after she has completed her homework. During this time, he learned a lot of foreign words, because the soundtrack of the game was in English, and developed the ability to be consistent, to complete what was started to the end, because until you pass the previous level, you will not be able to go to the next.
From the side it seems that those who play stupidly press buttons, but this is not so. Players develop certain qualities of the mind, can be focused on the task for a long time as part of their game, consider ways to achieve victory, build complex strategies, develop spatial thinking and can exhibit an amazing team spirit. They learn to manage reality virtually, and then transfer the acquired skills to situations and relationships in the real world.
The solution to the problem lies in its root cause.
However, any phenomena, including computer games, can act in two ways. Spending a lot of time playing the game, teenagers become emotionally and physically exhausted, impatient, lose interest in live communication, become isolated. This is a serious problem, and if it arose, you need to look for solutions in its root cause.
Talking on this topic is useless, even if you take the child to a psychologist, this will not solve the problem. A game is a space where a child feels free, experiences strong emotions, and leaves boredom and monotony of everyday life.
Take a look at life through his eyes: in early childhood, the world was bright and full of discoveries for him, and reality management was quick and easy, if he wanted something, his parents quickly satisfied his desire. But the older he gets, the more failures, restrictions and prohibitions he receives, everywhere he needs to obey other people's rules. He wants to return to his bright world, to escape from the gray routine. It is necessary to give him the opportunity to experience the same sensations, but through lively, direct interaction with people who will not limit his freedom.
Addiction is natural
A person becomes addicted as soon as he takes a first breath, since then he has been dependent on air, nutrients, physical and mental heat, and every year the list of dependencies is replenished based on lifestyle and environment. So what's the point of fighting what lies in human nature?
The easiest way to get rid of gambling addiction is to acquire another addiction, but healthy and healthy. Staying outdoors, creative hobbies (drawing, music), a healthy lifestyle, playing sports can help with this.
Not so long ago a new type of active leisure appeared - live quests, these are role-playing games that take place in reality. Different people gather in one place, often this happens in a cafe, and for several hours become the heroes of a story. Each game of the live quest has its own unique scenario, so that the game is fun for the participants, they can choose characters by their nature. This is an intriguing, exciting action, a great way to meet new interesting people, because after the game its participants often remain in the cafe to share their impressions, and then continue to communicate and make friends.
What is our life? A game!
So to summarize. The following methods of eradicating addiction to computer games can be distinguished:
understand the meaning of the game, offer an alternative action in reality;
understand the reason for avoiding reality, help realize oneself in society;
work out another addiction, constructive orientation.
But before moving on to action, it will be useful to think about what the essence of any game is. A game is a situational modeling of what is happening in our world, and the principles of building any game are similar to situations in life. To be completely honest with ourselves, you will see that our life is the same game, only more complexly organized, and absolutely everyone plays it. Even if you do not agree with this, it does not change the essence.
Try to look at your actions from a distance, like an outsider, and you will see which game you most often play yourself and impose its rules on others. You think in vain that something is different from a child manipulating a computer mouse, you do the same thing, the difference between you is only in the spheres of influence: he controls reality in his computer, and you control in your life.
Absolutely everyone wants to click on the “magic buttons”, manage, transform reality for themselves, subordinate others to their interests, and there is nothing reprehensible in this. Because life is both a riddle and a puzzle, battles and adventures, strategy and management, it has everything, and everyone finds a favorite genre for himself.
The game was created in order to be played, and by extracting experience and comprehending the essence, they became its creators and co-creators of reality. Understand this and live effortlessly, choose your role based on the situation, and not by force of habit. Your children will highly appreciate this, and perhaps the problem will disappear on its own, because if you look at it from the other side, then it never existed. It has arisen in your mind because you are afraid of losing control of the child.
Control is your way of managing reality, but there are other “magic buttons”, such as love, understanding, respect, acceptance, that give the best results. Try, as an experiment, “click” on them - and the result will not be long in coming.
