Reading this I realized, not talking to anyone in the city is probably a symptom of people not knowing if they are “doing it right”, and by “it” I mean existing.

I don’t talk to strangers in Tokyo much because I don’t do things like everyone else (not only as a foreigner but as a general weirdo).

I specifically felt like maybe that girl on the bus didn’t talk to people because she didn’t know if they’d accept her differences, or maybe they’d repeat the same questions which made her feel unwelcome even if they weren’t intended that way.

I didn’t realize this my first few years in Tokyo because my goal was to do as the Romans do and I was eager to put any and all of my habits aside for others just for the sake of trying to understand the culture. But now that I understand it (mostly) , there are many things I am not eager to adapt to (like keeping distance even in a friendly conversation or treating people with more respect even if they are a few days older than me).

It could be really small things sometimes that people don’t vibe with on a personal level and don’t adapt, non threatening things but then they feel worried about being exposed. If they were local they’d say “it’s just me” but as a foreigner they feel “I’m an outsider”. And I say this with people from the same country but different environments in mind too.

This is turning into a post of its own, but I was surprised to see how similar our experiences were even though it seems like your area was less international than mine at the time.