What does it mean to hold space? How is that even possible?
What I'm talking about is this ability to be present, give space to, or just be okay with what ever may arise from yourself and or from others as long as it is not hurting others of course.
Some may argue that when something negative arises in someone, they should not have to put up with it. And in one sense that is true. If someone is being negative, it's not your problem. But if you care about them or even have understanding or want understanding for when you find yourself reacting, then it is your problem.
Why is this important to hold space, do you ask? To answer this we must look at what happens when we aren't able to hold space.
Think about a time you found yourself struggling with something and it seemed like no one understood or was able to listen. How about a time you were doing really great and maybe the person you wanted to share with wasn't able to share your excitement. How did all this make you feel. Lonely? Sad? Maybe even Angry?
What about when you find yourself having a negative human reaction to something and those around you take it in and blame you for their own reaction to your reaction. Or their reaction to your reaction may even turn into putting you down for being negative. Does this help you get over it? When someone says "Take a chill pill" do you feel supported or dismissed?
What if instead of shaming our loved ones, ourselves, and others for feeling or reacting negative, we had some compassion and remembered a time when we also reacted negatively.
Now think of a time when someone was able to listen in your times of hardship. How did that make you feel? Personally I am always incredibly grateful and am often able to find clarity either through some supportive words, if offered, or just by sorting through my thoughts to be able to express myself clearly. How about a time when someone got really happy for your success? Either way you feel a sense of honor, love, and support that helps either shift the negative and or celebrate the positive.
A lot of people have the desire to make a difference in the world but don't know how. What if just being present with someone or even yourself when you are suffering was all that was ever needed?
Holding space doesn't mean let people walk all over you. It is actually the opposite. Holding space is being strong enough in your truth to let others go through what they need to go through to learn what ever they are learning without pushing them to be different.
In one way, holding space could show up in the idea of "live and let live." And if this is all you are capable of doing then that's a great start! Other times it may be expressed through any and all of the Five Love Languages... Acts of service (cook and clean up a meal), Words of affirmation ("I am grateful for you, you are loved"), Physical affection (giving a hug), Gift giving and Quality time.
To sum it up, imagine how different the world would be if sorrows, pains, angers and all negative emotions where held in loving compassion. And if joys were celebrated more often. It would reduce the isolation and separateness so many of us often feel. Sometimes just having a little understanding goes a long way!
Thank you all for holding space for me as witness to expansion. I'd love to read your stories on how this may or may not show up for you!? Cheers to growth and connection! <3
