Hi to all Ladies of Hive members!
I'm kinda new here. It's my first post on this community.
I'm happy to find out that there is a communitiy where we women may be heard and appreciated publishing here! So I'm going to share a story of mine where a confused adolescent bloomed into a cherful and confident young woman.
I hope this shared experience may help the women who have issues about descovering and embrancing their inner woman.
Let's start with a little story : since I was a toddler, I was between two worlds : femine body - masculine activities and hobbies. questioning my feminine living side presence in myself.
During my childhood, I was playing all day football with my neighbourhood friends : all boys, no exception! Also, there where endless days when we were climbing trees, asking water to everyone on the street, stealing cherries from neighbours' trees. It was such a wonderful and carefree life, when I didn't care about my dirty clothes, (but my mom did =)))))), IF and WHAT I ate that day.
I WAS SO HAPPY AND ME! LIFE WAS FLOWING IN MY VEINS SO GENTLY! Even though I sometimes felt rejection from my boys' team play. 'Cause I was a girl and they were boys. How much I hated that!
A sample of me - I was about 5 years :
Years passed and I finally became a teenager : an angry and lonely one. I was angry on anyone but wanting be proud and respected! (I laugh so much remembering myself from then)
The separation went further : my woman's body and heart started its processes while me, I didn't know why I didn't fit boys' expectations. I wanted a tender and warm connection with one, but the war living inside me rejected almost all of them.
During teenhood, I had just femele friends. They were great pals, but I still felt so lonely...Boys were just comrades.
I felt like a restless warrior who wanted deeply find peace with its being. In highschool the head teacher called me "A causeless rebel". Kinda good for my mood :
Years passed and I've found finally some sort of peace : through caring on some of my inner wounds and body acceptance I no longer hate my feminine side. I've learned how to cuddle and love it! It was so liberating for my being!
I love my body's shapes, its gentleness and woman nature! Even life has smiled to me, bringing to me a good male friend who stands next me for many years.
I could say the key was letting my living war show me how to heal myself. Even enjoing my inner pain consciously. Quite confusing, huh ? If someone had told me that when I was a teenager, I guess I had punched him/her caring no remors. 'Cause there were many wounds.
Take a look at this lady playing ukelele. I still can't believe it's me! Being in its element wearing a nice skirt and singing without caring people's opinion.
Thank you for according from your precious time to read a piece of my life. Hope it could be helpful for some of you.
If you feel lost, pray on life's greatness! This way I'm never alone :)
