Magic mushrooms. They grow in most gardens. If you want a free psychedelic trip into a different world, you can pick one. If you do choose to pluck one from the grass, as soon as you do, it turns into a Class A drug and you are essentially a criminal. Well, that is, if you get caught doing it, or worse, drying them. To sell. I don’t recommend that, and I don’t recommend picking them, just in case any nosey guards are reading this, I condone leaving them for the frogs to get high on.
But let’s say you like mushrooms, and think I am talking out of my arse, that there is no way a powerful Class A drug is growing in your garden and you pick one. You now have a choice, just eat it standing hunched over there in the garden and see if I’m lying, or take it inside and brew it up into some shroom tea. Either way, you will see what I mean soon enough, in maybe an hour or less. You may start to see things in a different, more vibrant light. Say you ate one before you read this, you may be finding these words very funny and giggling uncontrollably. I advise you to close your eyes and try to relax, and if you start seeing visions of geometric shapes twirling around in the darkness, well, don’t freak out that’s normal. Just enjoy it.
Be very careful though, don’t make the mistake my friend Jeffry made. He picked some shrooms, ate maybe ten or fifteen, and started tripping balls. He just picked them and ate them as he went, at half three in the morning in his neighbours garden. As they slept soundly, little did they know he was outside talking to the bugs in the hedge and giving them offerings of grass blades, feeling like a God. Jeffry tried not to make too much noise, but as he looked at his dog that had came on the hunt for the shrooms with him, he was very confused when it didn’t bark, but instead ‘meowed’ as it morphed into a cat. He chased it round the garden, as if it was a mystical teacher, guiding him in the ways of instinct, and the grass constantly shined and morphed into an ever changing tapestry of amazing patterns. Somehow, Jeffry made it home during that trip and went to sleep listening to a stop smoking hypnosis tape. It was a good trip.
Jeffry had bought a can of coca cola that day , he had a few in his room, that had been there a week or more and had spores of blue mould and white mould and all different types of mould floating In it, making it thick and viscous, with a skin on top. He told me when he woke up the next morning, one of them was empty, but the one he had bought the day before was still full. And he distinctly remembered downing one in the middle of the night after waking up, still half tripping. The only conclusion he could come to was that the mushrooms had taken over his brain and guided him towards ingesting more fungus in the form of the mouldy coca cola in the night. He said it tasted grand, and he necked the entire can thinking it was the new one. Gross.
The dangers of shrooms really become apparent here. As the days and weeks went on, Jeffry treated the new goldmine of psychedelic drugs he had found just like he would weed. He ate shrooms until he was tripping, and then once they wore off, he ate more. He heard a tolerance builds up so he started ramping up the dosage, brewing batches of shroom tea with like a hundred in each pot, just floating in it and he ate them as he drank. He was so spaced out, it is impossible to describe. This went on for weeks. He took them on the bus as he went to visit his cousin in Dublin, and made tea at his house, tripped out, woke up the next morning, drank some shroom tea before getting the Luas to the bus home. He really tripped out on the Luas but it turned bad, he got paranoid that people were staring at him, passers-by were gawking at him as if they knew he was on something. It didn’t factor into his high mind that they could see his pupils were fully dilated and he had a look of awe on his face. After this, he decided to stop taking shrooms for a while, but due to taking so fucking much, the damage was done.
In the weeks and months later he started believing delusional things, such as thinking there was a camera in his head broadcasting his life on a livestream somewhere online to the entire world. He would see bats from the PS1 game ‘Crash Bandicoot’ flying towards him in the sky, and he was acting very weird. He eventually got so weird he had to be sectioned and was certified as crazy with ‘Drug-Induced Psychosis’. It took months of medication to get him back to normal.
The recovery only lasted until next mushroom season, when he did it all over again, and this happened several years in a row. The only thing that stopped him doing mushrooms after that was headshop legal high drugs, but that’s another story. Jeffry didn’t treat the shrooms with the respect they deserve, you could say what he did was extremely stupid. But he was young and naive and had problems he was trying to escape. But he made a grave mistake in doing so much shrooms, and ended up fucking up his brain for life with schizophrenia.
Mushroom season is coming, and if any of you are thinking on doing shrooms, there are vast resources of information online about how much to take, how to take them, and where to trip so that you don’t have a bad one. Not to freak you out, but the bad ones are what can mess up your mind. As you’ve seen from the mouldy coca cola you have to be careful because you won’t be in your right mind. Always trip responsibly.
