I don't like rants but I love questions.
What is accomplished at a Friendsgiving? Thanksgiving I get, we sit around a table covered in delicious gluttony and delightful over indulgence, we obligatorily express thanks, then we eat with clear consciences. That is until whatever cousin half way through their freshmen year at a liberal arts college reminds all of us of the genocidal undertones surrounding the first thanksgiving. Often to that the lightly-racist uncle brings up a disturbing counterpoint that inspires you to ask everybody at once to please pass the wine. Then whoever hosted last year's thanksgiving mentions that this year's turkey is a little dry. I usually add to the awkwardness that my prederwnce leans toward the canned cranberry jelly and away from homemade cranberry sauce as I mix it with my mashed potatoes and so consistent textures mean a lot to me...
But Friendsgiving takes all the thanks out of the holiday. I have never been invited to one of these, but I assume all the insincere small talk, the obligation to express gratitude, and petty dinnertable judgements remain prevalent. I expect the corn chowder has the consistency of a corn shower, that Kelly's boyfriend will say nothing of interest while the host's brother hits on my ex, and then I'll get shit for stepping out for a cigarette after not passing my flask around the room to share. I'll help clean up, I'll offer my leftovers to the couple with four kids, I'll even suggest we drink the wine I brought for everyone, not the host and hostess wine in the foil bag with the ribbon, that's special.
The next day everyone will claim the gathering was "pretty good" and "a nice time", whoever plans to host next year will insist they had a great time but next Friendsgiving the food will come out all at once and still be hot. I'll thank everyone for inviting me and mention that I'll be busy next year. I'll say I'm thankful for fiends and food and the freedom to pursue both with whatever levels of determination and consistency I choose. Because holidays. Because liberty. And because if we don't all laugh out loud together we will all experience moments when we cry quietly and alone.
