Recently, I created a 'profile' for a relative of mine on a national matrimonial website. It is very famous and has branches outside the country too. People outside Southeast Asia might not be very familiar with marriage brokers and such matrimonial apps or websites.
So, why am I writing about it?
I just wanted to share a few opinions of mine about the whole system.
For one thing, the huge amount of choices will leave one astounded and although choices can be narrowed down with the help of filters, it is tremendous and increases the confusion. Also, the profile of the would-be groom or bride makes it a difficult choice. Others, please excuse. I know it can be difficult to digest that people would select online profiles and meet and marry without any prior acquaintance. At least, the 'girl' and the 'boy' can view each profile nowadays unlike the previous decades before the internet arrived on the scene.
There are a lot of fake profiles as well and it is believed that some people do it to trap innocent persons. So, one should not trust any stranger profiles and give away information without checking. The matrimonial websites have increased security for this purpose. Most of the matrimonial websites have a usage fee and this is to prevent fraud.
When you do narrow searches and finally decide to shortlist some profiles, you are able to connect through the website chat but even then the various interests of both parties could clash and the match is not 'fixed'. So, it is quite a dilemma. Even if everything turns out right and the marriage is fixed, there are a lot of other factors like the preferences of the bride and groom that do not tally thus leading to misunderstandings and so on. So, it is better to clear things up before taking the final step.
When the elders argue that the rate of divorce is lesser among arranged marriages, it is not correct in most cases. When earlier, people kept quiet and adjusted fearing social rebuke and the mocking of society, nowadays, more and more people are coming up with divorce cases because marriage is not a permanent 'punishment' and a partner can opt for divorce if all else has failed. Sometimes, it is the abuse on the part of the in-laws and the demand for dowry that leads to divorce. People should stop dowry as it causes a lot of crimes and many women suffer silently. Punishments should be strict and women should not tolerate such abuse in the name of dowry. The idea that the parents should keep on giving money and other stuff to a married daughter is ridiculous and should be stopped. Girls are educated now and also have jobs. So, the 'dowry' demand is not only silly but also a burden to society. Just as 'Sati' was abolished, so should dowry.
Coming back to the matrimonial apps, do try to search for it and you can study how they do it if you are interested in knowing more about it.
