Human behaviour is a really complex thing. I guess that’s bound to happen when there are so many of us, each different to the other in a multitude of ways and all of us forming a web of interaction.
There are many layers to any person as he or she is a sum total of their nature, preferences, personalities, attitude, view towards life, upbringing, dreams and aspirations, emotions, and so much more.
It is really difficult to understand someone completely. That’s why I respect psychologists, who make it seem so easy. But still, even they do not get it right all the time. Such is the complexity of our behaviour.
I guess, it has to do with the way we behave differently according to the people and circumstances we are exposed to. In fact, a Jesuit missionary wrote about his observation of the Japanese that they have three faces, that I think may actually apply to all of humanity. Let’s talk about the three faces.
We come across thousands of people in our lives. A majority of these people, we meet only briefly and then we take our separate paths. In a way, they are the tourists in our lives.
Our interaction with these people is different to how we may interact with the more important people in our lives. I am not saying that we are rude with these kinds of people but there sure are differences.
I mean you wouldn’t completely trust the word of a stranger like you might your best friends’, right? Our expressions, our reactions and the way we behave with such fleeting shadows in our lives are quite different.
And that’s the first face we all carry. The mask that we put on according to what we think is culturally and socially acceptable and the one that we remove as soon as we step inside the home. The longer we have this on, the more exhausting it is.
We all have these special people in our lives whom we care for a lot. There is the family consisting of your parents, your spouse, siblings, children for whom you would do anything.
Then you have your best friends. These are like your second family and while these two groups of people are separate from each other, and may form separate spheres of life, the behaviour or the ‘face’ is quite similar.
You have a good time whenever you are with them, you can tell them anything and can be more ‘yourself’ when you are with them. Also, these are the people you seek when you are in trouble and they literally form your support structure in life.
You also do the same for them. Basically, you enter a caring and loving mode for these people in your life and this shows in your behaviour. Even here, it differs from one person to another. Yes, we can all care but showing that care can be done in a thousand different ways.
No matter who you are as a person. No matter in which stage of life you are. You will always want to spend some time alone, doing absolutely nothing. There is something about solitude that is so alluring.
During times like these, the truest reflection of our ’self’ comes out. Basically, this is the part of us that we keep hidden from all of the world and it only comes out when nobody’s watching.
This is the all knowing face, your soul, the core of your self or whatever else you might want to call it. This is the ‘real’ voice calling from the back of your mind when you are busy putting on the first or the second face.
This is the face that makes you feel guilty when your first face is being nice to your boss just because you want a promotion and this is the face that cries silently when your second face is busy smiling in front of your loved ones telling them you are fine.
