Me: Happy Valentine's Day, Bud.
Bud: Go away. Don't look at me right now.
Me: Poor Bud! Were you all forgotten by your friends today?
Bud: Nah. I have so much Valentine's fan mail stacked up I don't even know where to start.
Me: I see. Well, did your romantic dinner plans get cancelled?
Bud: Fifi the poodle is taking me to an exclusive French restaurant with an all-feline revue. Should be quite the event.
Me: Is your tummy ok?
Bud: I'm great. Just waiting for you to walk away so I can get off this thing before you blame the muddy paw prints on me.
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From @sararmullis