You have my deepest sympathies. The death of our paternal figure is always a test no matter what age we are when it happens. (I was 25 when mine died). At this point I would usually assure the bereaved person that death is just a door between one place and another and how the word itself refers only to the death of the body, but looking briefly at your next message it seems very much like I don't need to tell you that :)

For the wands I totally agree. It simply isn't comfortable to grip them all night and I have given up on this. Am using strips of light material for the arm straps, tied around the end of each wand and arm. I tried hair-bands but this makes it too tight! It's not working 100% great yet with the material straps but I will send you a photo when I get it just right. It's about time I wrote an update post on this subject to be honest! Morning sungazing always seems like the best time of day to hold them. The most powerful time. A time of day when I have sensed my father with me many times and it would not be unusual for me to have a little cry in these moments. Not out of sadness but joy. Joy for the pure connectivity I have been able to retain with him.