So I have accustomed children from a young age the basics. Sort of 4 magic words like Sorry, Please, Thank You and Excuse me. because I was taught by my father with the principle that "once a lie it is difficult to gain the trust of others. People who lie will continue to find excuses for their lies. And there is no such thing as a lie for the sake of goodness, a lie is still a lie. Truth is truth even though it hurts." Religion, although I am still studying and worshiping, I always teach my younger siblings to know who God is, how to worship, pray and how to read the holy book.
I also invite the children to be brave and be able to express their emotions. Happy, sad, sick, upset and angry, Once, my sister tripped over a rock and she fell to her knees, bleeding and she was crying. All I did was don't tell her to stop crying. Why? No matter how big he is, he will continue to hold back what he feels. He will continue to be burdened with "I have to be strong!" It does not matter. Or I just do "hit the rock! Rock is naughty!" No. All I did was "does it hurt? Alright, let's wash it and treat it. Next time, be careful, okay?" Why? So that later when the child is careless he will not blame others.
There are rewards and there are punishments. Sounds like a match, right? I don't know either, hehe. I made it a habit to always support and praise whatever he does. Either when he does something, or even when he does something wrong. I'm not the type of older brother who always corrects children's mistakes. Why? Later the child will not be able to solve the problem on his own. No parent or even anyone else should have to do it.
For example, at that time he was busy playing with his many toys in the living room, then he took care of it himself and then he reported to me "brother, the toys have been cleaned with me" yes! I gave him praise and appreciation. "My little brother is diligent and handsome. Well, since you helped your sister tidy up your toys, how about we have some ice cream now?"
Or when he breaks things and even breaks a glass, do I get angry right away? Of course not (Even though the emotions are turbulent) I punished him with "be careful, brother. Next time you can't do that again, right. Bought with money. Money is hard to find. Is it okay if you don't play for 2 days first?" Then with a sad face he replied "sorry brother. It does not matter". And after 2 days passed I kept my promise to him. I returned the toy to him.
I'm also not the type of brother who always imposes his own will. Doesn't have to live up to expectations. Not too pampering children either. not too firm. Everything is still within normal limits. Because for me, children have their own world, their own choices, their own lives. Children are entrusted, a trust that must be protected and educated as well as possible. Therefore, I am the most anti-comparing or equating children with anyone. Every child is definitely different. Nothing is the same
I'm also still learning until now to get used to educating children by not using the word don't. It's hard because it's a habit. I always replace the word with the word than. For example, my sister ran away when we were at the mall. I reprimanded him only with the words "instead of running, you fall down, prevent other people from passing, walk together with your brother, let's join hands". Because as far as I know (I forgot which parenting book I read) if there are a lot of words, don't make the child more curious, especially without a valuable reason.
let's learn a lot about educating children from anywhere. Do not let our children become children who pretend to be good just to make their parents happy.
