Being charismatic is a quality that most people desire to possess. It’s one of the things embedded in people that makes them likable. There are some people that we spend time with and they just have this whole different vibe around them that makes them interesting and makes you cherish their presence.
However, there are a couple of things that kills this thing called Charisma. One of the major things is that device in your hand right now—that’s right, your phone. You’re probably wondering, “how the heck does phone kill charisma?”
First off, I am not saying the cellphone is bad. Matter of fact, it has turned out to be one of the most useful device invented. But where it becomes a problem is when you become overly addicted to them.
Being charismatic can only be visible by your physical presence and the way you relate with other people. Think about it, before the iPhone, Samsung, and other smartphone, how was our communication with people around us? Aside that, how was our sensitivity to our surroundings? Back then we actually cherished things like nature and some little things that we consider to be boring today. Today we find it somewhat difficult engage in conversations with people around us but would rather prefer spending hours with someone online that is not close by that we may not even know.
Our brain is gradually being rewired to have a certain desire or cravings for online content that we slowly lose interest in the things going on in the real world. Our concerns about people begins to die down.
I came across something interesting in Dale Carnegie’s book on “How To Win Friends and Influence People.” It says to become “interesting” you have to be “interested.” It’s like a give and take situation. It’s just like saying in order to be commended by people as being interesting you have to first of all be interested in them.
This means actually talking with them and listening to them. Being concerned about things going on with them. It doesn’t mean prying into their business or privacy. It simply means getting to know them and certain things about them like what makes them happy or sad, making them feel free to discuss almost anything with you. Time and attention is one of the best gifts you can ever give to someone. Anyone can give out money and still make it back. But time given to someone cannot be recovered back, that’s why it is very valuable.
But when you are all about your phone and the things going on on the internet, the latest trends, what one celebrity twitted and all that stuff, your physical world becomes less interesting. This is because the physical world and the online worlds are two different worlds and the on you spend more time in affect your perspective. You can expect half the things you see online to play out the same way in real life. And when the physical world becomes uninteresting to you, you lose the very thing that makes you interesting. Your charisma slowly begins to diminish.
But there can be a remedy for this and it requires you being intentional and disciplined. It may be difficult to do but carrying out this test is a proven strategy to improve your Charisma. This is cutting down the time you spend on your phone. If you find yourself staying away from your phone for complete four hours and you feel uncomfortable then there is a problem. You should normalise spending long hours without your phone. Back when we were much younger and hadn’t smartphones we survived. In my own opinion, the fun experience we had back then was a lot better than the fun we derive now with our phones. Back then we actually moved around, talked with people, and even stayed healthy at the long run.
But the fun we derive now from our phones keeps us at a spot, results to bad posture, affects our eyes, and most often leaves us depressed at the end of the day. All these are detrimental to our charisma.
Another side effect of being addicted to these devices is that it makes us lose awareness of our immediate environment and things around us. We gradually fail to appreciate the beauty of nature. Your brain slowly begins to adjust to a quieter environment. You become more sensitive to things that have been happening around you all this while but you were too distracted to notice because you kept staring at your phone all day.
Little things like taking walks, starting off conversations, getting to know people, all of these become interesting. You begin to listen more. Become concerned and desire to know things. You begin to ask questions. By doing this you slowly begin to gain your charisma. People begin to find you interesting simply because you became interested in people and knowledge in general.