Life can be unpredictable. Sometimes, something may happen that will test your patience, your strength, and your character. They may even present with challenges, criticisms, pressure, and difficulties. To overcome these challenges, you need mental toughness. Mental toughness talks about the ability to remain resilient, focused, and determined even in the midst of difficult situations. But some people think that being mentally tough means being cold, harsh, or being emotionally distant. True strength does not come by losing your compassion. It is about remaining strong, yet treating others with compassion, respect, kindness, and understanding. Just to tell you, you can be mentally tough and compassion at the same time. Both of them can work together.
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There was something I observed in the place where I worked briefly some years back during one of the vacation periods. The place had two departments headed separately. So a time came when both of the leaders in the two different departments came under intense pressure to complete an important project within one week. The first leader thought that being mentally tough meant he was supposed to be harsh. He shouted at the staff whenever they made mistakes, did not listen to their concerns, and enforced his wish on them with some brutal deadlines. At the end of the one week, the project was completed. But the teammates became discouraged, stressed out, and even unhappy. It was not just about completing the task, but how was it completed?
Then the second leader understood compassion, even though he was mentally tough too. He led differently. He remained calm in the face of pressure, encouraged the team, motivated them, and inspired them to work as a team and to remain focused. Even when any of them made mistake, he corrected them firmly but with respect. He would then use it as a learning opportunity, not as a tool for humiliation. He also listened to the opinions and suggestions of others. By the end of the one week, his own project was also completed successfully. But unlike the first team, the second team was united, motivated, and even willing to work with him again on another project. What made the difference was the compassion that was employed by the leader of the second department.
In order to build mental toughness while remaining compassionate, you need to learn to control your emotions. Mental toughness starts with emotional control. It is true that difficult situations may trigger anger, fear, or frustration, but emotionally strong people do not allow these temporary emotions to control or influence their decisions and their choices. Before you react or respond to situations, pause for a while and think. Even when responding, respond calmly and not out of emotions. While controlling your emotions, you should also not ignore the feelings of others. You can remain calm while showing understanding, respect, and patience.
You also need to see challenges that come as a way to learn new things, and as opportunities. By doing that, you will not be cracked by the challenges that come. In addition to this, you also need to know that others are also facing some challenges that you may not know about. Your own struggles should also make you to understand what others may be facing, so it should make you more compassionate and less judgemental. Someone who has passed through hardship and has overcome, for example, will be in a position to encourage others on how to face the same challenge and to overcome it.
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You also need to practice empathy without losing your principles. Empathy simply means the ability to understand the feelings and perspective of other people. This helps you to communicate better, resolve conflicts in a more peaceful way, and also build good relationships. After all, you can understand why someone behaves in a certain way, yet you will not approve of a harmful action. Being mentally tough means that you can remain compassionate, while also standing firm for what is right.
True strength is not measured by how hard or how emotionless you are. Rather it is measured by how calm, cool, and coordinated you remain in the face of adversity, while also caring and respecting others. At the end of the day, you will understand that the strongest people are not those who never feel pain or emotions, but those who are able to rise above the challenges of life while remaining compassionate.
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