As she cried in my arms I realized how much this whole thing was taking its toll on her, she was really too young for all of this. We needed our mother now more than ever this is hurting me too, I'm also breaking inside as much as I don't want to admit it. As much as I want to act strong and be the hero for Babalwa slowly I was beginning to crumble too.
Me : "We will get through this Babalwa" I pulled out of our embrace and cupped her face "From now on its us against them okay?" I wiped her tears and she nodded "I hate seeing you like this little sis, it breaks my heart" I sighed and got up from the floor then sat on the couch by near the door in Natasha's room. My face fell into both my hands
Don't crumble now Zweli dont! Thats what I kept telling myself but I couldn't I needed to let it all out so I let the tears flow but I quickly wiped them off roughly then starred at Babi who was sitting on the floor with hugging her knees as she rocked herself.
Me : "Babalwa"
Her : "I just want it all to be over bhuti, I want to forget please. I want to forget bhuti make me forget ndakucela..."
Me : "Babalwa" I knelt down in front of "You can't break now don't do this to me please"
She looked me straight in the eye and said "I don't want to be alive Zweli, I just wanna die"
Me : "No one is going to die here Babalwa!" I took a deep breathe in "you can't do that to me please, we will get through this I promise you. I don't know how but we will Babi"
Her : "Zweli I'm too young for this, its way bigger than me Zwe and I'm scared!"
Me : "I'm here Babalwa"
Her : "you could go to jail and I'll be alone again. I don't wanna be alone"
Me : "Hey hey, I'm not going back there. I won't leave you again"
Her : "Promise?"
Me : "I promise" we hugged "love you sis"
Her : "I love you too bhuti"
We sat like that for a while then she went to lay on the bed but asked me not to leave so I sat on the couch and we conversed about stuff in general till she fell asleep. I was about to leave when Lubanzi woke up, I missed my little guy.
Me : "Boy boy" he smiled whilst standing in his crib, I picked him and he wrapped his arms around my neck as he laid his head on my shoulder, I smiled to myself thinking of how much I missed this. As much as he wasn't planned, now that he was here I'd do anything for him and I'm grateful to his mother for taking such good care of him. She was just another blessing, I'm so thankful for all she's done for Babalwa. Not everyone would take on such a responsibility.
I walked out of the room with Junior and went downstairs to the kitchen, Tasha's mom was in there preparing supper, I'm surprised Natasha is not yet back home.
Tasha's mom : "Oh he is awake" she looked at him "hello boy" he just giggled and hid his face in my neck "oh because your dad is here now we don't exist? Hay e.eh" I laughed
Me : "As soon as his mom gets here I won't exist either"
Her : laughs "he is going to break hearts I can already see"
Me : chuckles "Nah I can already see him playing rugby"
Her : "that violent sport of yours? No no no, he will play golf"
Me : "That's for old men"
"So I'm an old man?" - mr Baartman said whilst standing by the door frame with a smug on his face
Mrs B : "my husband is no old man darling"
Me : chuckles "You guys seem to forget you are grandparents"
Him : "Hip grandparents that is"
Me : laughs "don't wanna get old I see"
Mrs B : "Hey! What are you trying to say about me?"
Me : "Nothing mrs B, just that you are aging beautifully"
Her : "Awww thank you Zwe, you are so sweet"
Mr B : "what about me? Am I sour?"
Her : "Even sweeter my love" he blushed, this old man legit blushed.
I laughed to myself as Mrs B handed me Junior's bottle of milk
Me : "Thank you, I'll be in the guestroom with him"
Her : "You're welcome"
I walked out of the kitchen leaving them in there, I gave Junior his bottle
Him : "Nkos" (thank you)
We walked up the staircase to the room that was allocated to me and chilled in there, we played and I forgot all about my challenges. For a moment everything was okay, all that mattered was my son. He was happy, I watched him as he played on the bed next to me. He had absolutely no care or worry in the world and thats the way I wanted it to be. I did not want my son suffering and facing hardships early in his life.
There was a slight knock on the door then it opened and in came Tasha, she smiled as she walked in with grey sweat pants and a long sleeved white top. Her hair was wet and tied into a bun. She looked at us with a smile on her face
Her : "Hey, can I come in?" I nodded, junior quickly got off the bed and walked, okay more like ran with his arms open to his mother and she picked him up. "Somebody missed me" she kissed him all over his face and he giggled "did you miss me baby" he nodded "I missed you too boy" she walked towards the bed but sat on the edge
Me : "How are you?"
Her : smiles "I should be asking you that Kumkani"
Me : "Well I'm out of jail and here with my son, I can see Babalwa was well taken care of so I'm doing good now how are you?"
Her : "I'm fine just tired that's all but I'm chuffed cause you are here now"
Me : nods "How was the interview?"
Her : "Well I don't know, I think it went well. We will see if I get called back"
Me : "I know they will" she smiled and nodded then looked at junior who was sitting on her lap playing with my phone "You take good care of him"
Her : smiles "How can I not? He is the most beautiful thing that came out of our relationship"
Me : "about that..."
Her : "its okay, I understand you are with someone else"
Me : "Not anymore"
Her : "Oh?"
Me : "Yeah, I just need to focus on my family"
Her : "You guys are going through a lot so its understandable"
Me : "I'm talking about us Natasha"
Her : "Us?"
Me : "You, me and our son. Look I'm not saying lets get back together, I'm not in the space for a relationship right now but I want us to work on raising our son even better"
Her : "O-kay" she seemed confused. I was too. "Zweli" I looked at her "are you okay? Honestly are you okay?"
Me : sighs "I don't know"
Her : "Talk to me"
Me : "Just feel like I'm facing this whole thing alone, I don't even know how Babalwa and I are going to get through this"
Her : "Simple, by being there for each other"
Me : sighs "it's hard Tash"
Her : "Zwe"
Me : "Yeah"
Her : "I know this is selfish of me but let me be there for you please"
Me : "I don't need stress right now Tash"
Her : "I love you okay? I know this is hard for, I just want to be there for you" she put Banzi on the bed then came around to my side and sat down next to me "allow me to Zweli" she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me, I kissed her back with so much passion. I did not realize how much I missed her until that very moment. She pulled out and looked at me "not going to stress you, just going to be there for you" I just pulled her in for a hug
Me : "With this whole thing happening in my family I want us to have a healthy relationship okay? But at the moment we just going to take things slow you'll be there for me and I'll be there for you when you need me"
Her : "That's all I ask for" I cupped her face then pecked her lips
Me : "You look beautiful"
Her : smiles "Thank you" Banzi stood on the bed holding onto his mothers shoulder
Me : "Can't let daddy have his moment huh?" He just smiled "I love you guys so much"
Tash : "We love you too" she looked Banzi "say I love you daddy" she began tickling him.
Everything was just perfect at that moment.
Staying with the Baartman's was really therapeutic but it wasn't the life Babalwa and I needed, we needed to face our demons. So after staying for a week with them I spoke with Natasha's father asking for permission to leave, I mean after everything he has done it is the least I could do. He agreed, even promised to keep paying for Babalwa's therapy bill and that he would still represent me in court.
My mom's condition had not yet changed much but Babalwa and I visited her everyday after school, Tasha would come drop off supper every evening so we were basically surviving. Each and everyday had its own struggle but some days were good. With Babalwa it would depend on her sessions with her therapist, how deep they were and on what note they left things on, at times I didn't want her to go because of how messed up she would be when she got home but she waw getting better. Things got rocky when our father was showing signs of consciousness and I was asked to go to the hospital, as much as I dreaded it I had to go.
After breakfast, I went to go drop Babalwa off at school then drove to the hospital. When I got there, the receptionist told me which ward he was in so I walked there slowly trying to think of ways in which this visit could possibly work out but I was blank and to be honest kind of scared.
I took a few deep breaths before going inside his ward, he was in there picking his food and not really eating. I cleared my throat and he looked up
Him : "Zwelibanzi" I walked closer to the bed "come closer don't be a coward now"
Me : "What do you want? Why did you ask to see me"
Him : chuckles "straight to the point I see. Well for starters I want you to tell your sister to drop the charges she pressed against me then I want you to go to the police station tell them it was all lies and our family had a little dispute that's all" I looked at him in shock
Me : "You are even sicker than I thought"
Him : "Just make it easier for everyone Zwelibanzi"
Me : "Why did you have to be our father? Why are you so cruel!? She's just a kid for goodness sake, your own blood" he just looked at me unmoved "We will see you in court"
I turned and walked towards the door.
"Where are you guys going to live? Who is going to pay your fees at school? Babalwa's school fees at that expensive private school? You think you are going to survive without me? chuckles you are more of an idiot than I thought" - he asked these proudly. I turned around and charged at him in anger
Him : "put your hands on me again so your charge can change from assault to attempted murder" I huffed with my hands already in a fist
Me : "know what? You're not even worth it." I walked out his ward and left him shouting my name.
I drove to the Baartman home, I had to see Tasha's dad and tell him about what just happened. I got there and rang the door bell, the door was opened by Tasha.
Me : "Hey, is your dad here?"
Her : "Uhhh no what's going on? What's wrong?"
I just looked at her and hungrily kissed her but she pulled out.
Her : "Zweli wait baby I..." I shut her up with another kiss and she gave in.
I picked her up and she wrapped her legs around my waist, I walked into the house and closed the door behind me then walked up to her room, as soon as we were in her room clothes started flying off. I yearned to feel her soft skin against mine, she stopped me as I was about to take off her underwear.
Me : "What's wrong?"
Her : "I am not on contraceptives Zwe and we both know you don't have a condom with you right now" fuck she's right "We can't Zweli"
Me : "Okay" I was bumped to be honest but she was right, we can't have another baby especially now and she knows I hate pulling out when I'm about to cum.
"Sorry" - she said softly. I looked at her and smiled
Me : "no I'm sorry" I pecked her lips, I laid on the bed next to her "where is Junior?"
Her : giggles "only now you ask about him really?"
Me : "hey you weren't stopping me either"
Her : smiles "he is at crèche now talk to me, what's bothering you?"
Me : sigh "Its my dad, he is just something else you know"
Her : "You went to see him?"
Me : "I had to and after today he will surely get whats coming for him"
Her : "What's that supposed to mean Zwe?"
Me : "Nothing to worry yourself about" I pulled her to lay on my chest and we laid like that quietly until she spoke up again
Her : "Just don't do anything that will result in you being in jail Zweli, Babalwa cannot handle another loss. First her mother in a mental institution then her brother in jail, it would be too much for her Zweli so please be responsible" I didn't say anything after that I just placed a kiss on the crown of her head.
