Building a Connecting with your Children – A Win-Win Situation

Connecting with your children:
No matter how much you achieve in your life, how financially stable you get and provide the best education to your children, mental satisfaction is achieved through an actual connection with your children. A connection in which they feel free to share their ideas, their stories, their thoughts and aims with you. Many busy parents feel that they are doing their part by keeping themselves engaged with the work life and striving to make a family’s life better. However, that is one responsibility and while giving your child attention and love is also a responsibility that has a great impact on the lives of children as well as the parents.

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Why is it Important to Connect with your Children?

• With such busy lives, the parents feel that they are being drifted away from their children. Once the kids grow up, they also find more friends and get comfortable with them to share their stories. So it is rather very important to let your children feel comfortable in sharing with you from the beginning while finding comfort in sharing and delivering your point as well. it has been proved scientifically that the parents who share their problems, concerns and excitement with their children are healthier mentally and physically.
• Any band in the world is strengthened through trust. A strong bond between the children and parents minimises any trust issues within the family. Many parents feel uncomfortable when children start hiding stuff from their parents or sharing only half the story. The reason is only that you might have failed to win your child’s trust as a parent. Children love to talk and say whatever comes to their mind. Keep this factor alive in them by winning their trust and not losing the connection as they grow up.

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Tips To Connect With your Children:
There are many fun ways to interact with your children and spend quality time with them.

• Individuality: Make efforts in understanding what type of a person your child is. Ask yourself:
  I. What does he/she like to do in free time?
  II. What type of people does he/she like to hang out with?
  III. What topics interest them?
  IV. What is their behaviour when in bad mood?

You can find out the answer to these questions and use them as a tool to get your children to talk to you. For example, if your child is an adventure junkie, you can offer to take them out to an adventure park and show excitement and enthusiasm! Eventually, Your child will love hanging out with you at your favourite spot too.

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• Discussion:
  There will be times when you wouldn’t understand or like what your child is up to. The best and the only way to deal the situation smoothly is to listen to everything your child has to say and don’t jump to conclusions right away. Discussions are important in every family matter. Discuss the problems you have with certain things very politely and hear them out too. Remember, that your actions will be adopted by them, more than your words. To reflect all the things that you want them to follow your behaviour rather than just words.

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• Counseling:
  Many parents leave this part of their child’s teacher. You need to take some time out, plan a date with your child and take them out to a place where you can talk openly. Start the conservation yourself and give them useful tips with examples. To engage in a conversation, you can also start by sharing similar experiences you have had in your past. Inspire them with your stories. This will eventually help you relieve your stress levels as well. Nothing feels greater than knowing that you are your child’s role model. However, it takes a lot to actually get there.

• Goals:
  As a family, you can set up goals and distribute the duties and responsibilities of everyone. This will encourage a healthy the environment where everyone keeps a track of the tasks, engaging in conversations and realising each other's potentials. At the same time, support each other to practice patience and self-compassion.
  This can also be done alternatively by setting up small goals for your children and asking them about it every now and then. You will earn their trust and the friendship will get stronger once they are sure that you have got their back.

• Talk:
  Try to avoid any awkwardly silent situations with your children. When you are driving them somewhere, there is no harm in playing music at a low volume but focus more on talking to them and engaging in a random conversation. Make them talk. If there's nothing to talk about, start the conversation about music, or anything that you see on your way! The idea is just to make them feel comfortable. If you don’t feel like talking and are on a low side of your mood, you can even consider sharing the reason behind it. Sharing your problems and grief will lighten your mood and who knows, your child might end up cheering you up on his/her story!

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**Start Today, It’s Never too Late!
That’s right. It is never too late to start doing something for good! If you feel that you have already lost that connection with your child and it is causing you health to deteriorate due to unnecessary tension and increased stress level, take major steps to improve the bond. You can start today! Every journey starts with the first step. Just make sure that you don’t come too hard on your child. Do it subtly and sincerely.
Finding a connection with the children is an actual job that needs to be handled rather carefully. As a busy parent, you will have to struggle to make time for them and get yourself to feel comfortable with sharing too. It’s true that parents also need to practice patience and remain calm no matter what the situation is. If the child learns that you have a lot of problems going on in your mind and you are not comfortable sharing with them, it makes them feel under confident and much less of themselves.

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