Hay d铆as en las que no me encuentro ni conmigo misma si estoy muy ansiosa, por lo general esto pasa cuando estoy a la expectativa y no tengo todas las posibles variantes con algo que pueda pasar.
La verdad pasa casi siempre, nunca tengo todas las variantes, pero me preocupa m谩s cuando ese evento me interesa mucho.
En mi servicio con juveniles, predico de vez en cuando. En la 煤ltima oportunidad, me esperaba un encuentro con ellos, despu茅s de un tiempo de apag贸n. Dos eventos juntos, mala noche acompa帽ado de mala sangre porque a nadie le gusta estar sin fluido el茅ctrico, sumado a que a煤n siento esas sensaciones raras cada que me paro en el p煤lpito.
Los juveniles son chicos con una bater铆a que siempre est谩 al 100 pero es s贸lo si ellos quieren, siempre me hago muchas preguntas antes de predicar porque no quiero que se vayan sin escuchar palabras que en verdad les lleguen y puedan replantearse grandes cosas, si no logro eso, es como si no valiera nada.
Esta es una lucha interna que libraba mientras buscaba mecanismos para dispersar esas dudas. R谩pido se me ocurri贸 ir a uno de mis rincones de paz.
En realidad tengo muchos, porque literal que este rinc贸n soy yo lo que desempe帽ado otras cosas, ocupado mi mente.
Y bueno, ah铆 se me ocurri贸 hacer un bizcocho con los recursos que ten铆a a la mano. En ese momento batir era mi paz, ya no importaba apag贸n ni clase, era yo, inventando y sin importar los resultados
Mientras elaboraba meditaba en todo aquello que me hac铆a titubear y en todo lo que se me escapaba y por m谩s que lo intentara no pod铆a resolver nada.
Los apaganes son como si estuvieran contados y nos toca a cada uno por la libreta, m谩s all谩 de ser un servicio b谩sico, uno m谩s que falta, atenta contra la integridad mental de cada uno, pero bueno, as铆 mismo, iba dejando eso atr谩s, como mismo ya comenzaba a mezclar las yemas con el supuesto merengue. Justo ah铆 me di cuenta que saldr铆a algo peque帽o y que no tener todos los materiales me cobrar铆a factura al final.
Eran las 11:30 am y mi encuentro a las 4:00 estaba medio contra reloj, porque adem谩s de no haber corriente, ten铆a que terminar el almuerzo, yo solita hab铆a decidido hacer un dulce y deb铆a terminarlo y el reloj marcaba que deb铆a apurarme sino llegar铆a tarde. Pero a pesar de todo eso, ya no ten铆a tantas dudas, mi mente estaba enfocada en su rinc贸n de paz.
A la 1:30 pm lleg贸 la corriente, y ya algo menos en lo que mortificarme, el bizcocho-dulce-experimento ya estaba listo, y bocas para comer no faltar铆an y termin茅 de cocinar con la electricidad.
Ahhhh porque me falt贸 eso, estaba cocinado con carb贸n馃檭 ADEM脕S.
D铆as de este tipo, son muchos y nos pasan a todos, cuando sentimos que todo se nos viene arriba y nos creemos tan peque帽itos e incapaces de poder con todo. No podemos darle cabida a ese tipo de pensamientos, s铆 podemos con todo lo que se venga y con mucho m谩s y para comprobarlo, vuelve a tu rinc贸n de paz y lo ver谩s. Saldr谩s renovad@ y llen@ de fuerzas de la mano De Dios porque sin 茅l si que no podemos y a comernos al mundo.
Los juveniles son un reto m谩s que el Se帽or me ha puesto pero sin duda que en la marcha y retroaliment谩ndonos tendr谩n la plequita de vencido.
Los abrazo. Todas las fotos son de mi propiedad.
ENGLISH
There are days when I do not find myself if I am very anxious with myself, usually this happens when I am expecting and I do not have all the possible variants with something that could happen.
The truth happens almost always, I never have all the variants, but it worries me more when that event interests me a lot.
In my youth ministry, I preach from time to time. At the last opportunity, I was expecting a meeting with them, after a time of blackout. Two events together, bad night accompanied by bad blood because no one likes to be without electricity, plus I still feel those weird sensations every time I stand in the pulpit.
The youth are guys with a battery that is always at 100 but it's only if they want, I always ask myself a lot of questions before preaching because I don't want them to leave without hearing words that really reach them and they can rethink great things, if I don't achieve that, it's like I'm worthless.
This is an internal struggle that I was waging while I was looking for mechanisms to disperse those doubts. It quickly occurred to me to go to one of my peaceful corners.
Actually I have many, because literally this corner is me that played other things, occupied my mind.
And well, that's when I thought of making a cake with the resources I had at hand. At that moment beating was my peace, it no longer mattered blackout or class, it was me, inventing and regardless of the results
While I was preparing I meditated on everything that made me hesitate and on everything that escaped me and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't solve anything.
The blackouts are as if they were counted and it's up to each of us for the notebook, beyond being a basic service, one more that is missing, it threatens the mental integrity of each one, but well, at the same time, I was leaving that behind, as I was already starting to mix the yolks with the supposed meringue. Right there I realized that something small would come out and that not having all the materials would take its toll on me in the end.
It was 11:30 am and my meeting at 4:00 was half against the clock, because besides there was no current, I had to finish lunch, I had decided to make a sweet and I had to finish it and the clock marked that I had to hurry up or I would be late. But despite all that, I no longer had so many doubts, my mind was focused on his corner of peace.
At 1:30 pm the current arrived, and already something less to be mortified about, the cake-sweet-experiment was already ready, and there would be no shortage of mouths to eat and I finished cooking with electricity.
Ahhhh because I missed that, it was cooked with charcoal馃檭 BESIDES.
There are many days of this kind and they happen to all of us, when we feel that everything is coming up to us and we think we are so small and incapable of being able to handle everything. We can not accommodate that kind of thoughts, we can with everything that comes and with much more and to check it, go back to your corner of peace and you will see. You will come out renewed and filled with strength from the hand of God because without him we can't eat the world.
The youth are one more challenge that the Lord has set for me but without a doubt that on the march and feeding us back they will have the challenge of being defeated.
I hug them. All photos are my property.
