Billy- Claims to be the smarter of the two brothers. No one knows for sure.
Jimmy- A martial arts expert. He's Billy's twin, and has red hair? I'm assuming hair dye. Otherwise they aren't twins!
Mary- She was kidnapped by the, Shadow Gang. A band of thieves. Somehow each of them is a black belt in karate.
Terry- The leader I think.
Kenny- If Terry isn't the leader, then it must be Kenny.
Benny- It's it's not Kenny. Then for sure Benny.
Jenny- Who the hell is she?
Too Many- All the thugs don't have names. What's the point in getting attached? They will only be alive for about 5 minutes. And the time they are alive, it's just the brothers beating their brains in.
Your girl friend is walking along when a gang attacks her. The leader punchers her in the gut. She passes out. They pick her up and walk off. That's some serious stone age shit right there! You go out for your daily sandwich. It is missing! You assume your girlfriend has been kidnapped. I normally go to the authorities when people are kidnapped. But police don't seem to exist in this game world. Which makes me question if they have a lawless society. That does explain why everyone knows how to fight. Except for Mary. But it's not her fault. She was busy making me a sandwich.
The game has a endless supply of thugs, hookers, pimps, and the dreaded rapers. They even threw in some construction workers. I guess their union doesn't pay well. For a game full of fighting, the environments relatively clean. No trash, spray paint, nothing I could see that suggests this place has crime. Even when you fight in the forest; the rocks, and trees seem untouched. The only time a item is hurled, or destroyed is when the hero picks it up. I begin to wonder if I'm actually playing a good guy. Billy could could sneak by about most of them. Instead from the moment he left the garage. He goes on a 90 mile pilgrimage of ass whoopin.
The enemies aren't that hard. Most people can't take a few punches to the face. But, Billy is the exception. As he takes the most enormous beatings known to human kind. But he has a weakness. He can't swim. That's right. He can drown. Sinks like a rock. Most people flail their arms. Billy just cannon balls his way to the bottom. This game would be short, if Billy just took a bus.
After beating down hundreds of the thugs, you make your way to the first boss. Who looks like a shirtless, wrestler Mayor. These guys are made to take punishment. Which makes me wonder... Is this game connected to Dragon's Lair? You thought I was going to say Final Fight. Ha! You have the option of using your fists or a lead pipe. Use the pipe. Just make sure not to put any pan inside. Lead poisoning. But by this point though. Billy badly needs to calm down. He just keeps murdering everyone he comes across.
You enter the woods. I don't know why the enemy head quarters is based in a forest. But it is. By this point your finger hurts from the constant up, and down motion you've been making on the controller. Pause the game and take a break. I watched a few episodes of RWBY. I accidently turned off my game console. ... Fuck. After 5 hours, you climb this large ass mountain. On the top is a mansion, fortress? It's a giant building of something. And this is where they hit you with the largest load of criminals. Show them justice by throwing them off the summit. Blind Fury style!
You see a road leading up the mountain. There was no need to climb it. ... Fuck. After seeing so much of their gang dead, they send out a guy with a machine gun! The game just went to an 11 in difficulty! Quick! Use all the remaining criminals as bullet shields. Once he runs out of bullets, charge him before he reloads. He will panic and use the gun as a weapon. Kick him in the nuts. However, before you can finish off machine gun dude, you must fight... Your twin brother! The guy who punched your woman in the gut from earlier! The fight lasts about five seconds. Billy, kicks his brother in the shins and he goes down crying. It's not over just yet! The final final final boss has now been tempted out. He hangs, Mary on a rope like a Pinata. Mary says she forgot the peanut butter. No, do not grab the baseball bat. Resist the temptation, and fight the final boss.
The boss is too hard to beat alone. You begin to look to your brother, Jimmy for help. But come to your senses, reload the machine gun, and kill the final boss. With Terry, Kenny, um... Whatever his name was, dead. Your girl friend is yours once again. You joke with her over the ordeal by lightly tapping her in the stomach. Mary gets a mad. But she's not about to slap a guy who killed 155 people in one day. She'll probably poison you later. Jimmy joins your ranks. You ask Jimmy why he worked for the dark side. He tells you he wanted Mary to make him a sandwich. Billy kicks Jimmy in the shins, and Mary slaps him.
