Why do people pretend to like something that they don’t like, just because someone they like recommended it to them? Presumably they don’t want to upset this person that they like, and telling them that their favorite movie sucks would offend them.
But why is that? It was clearly a judgment about the movie, not about the person. The assumption on both sides is that it’s because it’s “their” favorite movie. It belongs to them, it is part of them. Saying they don’t like the movie, means you don’t like a certain part of that person.
But this isn’t true at all. You obviously like that person, because you’re taking the time to conceal it to them that you don’t like it. But beyond that, why does this paradigm exist at all? Why do we get offended when we hear someone doesn’t like something we very much like? People who do this don’t know who they are. They don’t know what defines them, so they define themselves by the things they like.
When we’re asked to introduce ourselves, we so often immediately dive into our likes and dislikes, our favorite music, movies, books, foods, external things that we use to fill up our definition of ourselves, because without them, we wouldn’t know what to say, and the thought of not knowing ourselves is too much to bear.