Our checklists can be the problem or the solution and don't say you don't have a checklist, you do. It's either written down in some flowery covered book or it's right there in your mind. A checklist is simply a requirement in a partner and I've always used this as a sneak peek into someone's personality,yes you can have a glimpse into who a person is through what he/she wants.
Like I earlier said, your checklist can be the problem and this was true for me. My list was poispeterous,it was more of a barbie list and I think it was owning to the fact that I really didn't know myself. I'm big on self decovery, knowing yourself and by extension, knowing what you want and not succumbing to what your friends or society feel you should want.
My checklist was a disaster and I wrote people off alot because they didn't look like what I wanted (a 6ft Roman god,lol), people I now think would have been of massive help to my life and growth. My approval of people was hugely dependent on how they appear and my emotional requirement was nasty,I kid you not. It's been a while since my last awful relationship when I decided to step back and get to know myself and what/who I really need and not just I want. After 19 months of soul-searching, my desires changed and my checklist was edited big time. I went from wanting a man who'd buzz my phone every minute to someone who actually respects me, from wanting someone who promises me forever to wanting realism and honesty and from wanting someone who's always present to wanting someone who's always there.
Literally everything on my list have been edited and completely changed and it's because of my intentional self discovery. I think the problem is people have never been single long enough to discover what they actually want. Like I always tell everyone around me, 'not every good guy is good for you' and this remains valid. No matter how beautiful a shoe is,if it doesn't fit,it doesn't. You may decide to purchase it anyway but what would you do with a shoe that doesn't fit? It's impossible to settle for less when you know who you are and what you want. I think the best list isn't based on just feelings but core values and a safe space for personal healing and improvement.
