Believe it or not, it took me years to understand that. I didn't think about what I learned from my students. Tht brought this sense of entitlement, boosted my ego and made me puff up. All the while, I didn't even know it.
No, rather I was all fired up about changing the world. This whole concept makes you assertive and sometimes aggressive. It also causes you to focus on the macro- vs. the microcosm. This means that your focus is on the world. With this view there is an expectation of change. There is an idea that you can make a difference.
What you fail to realize is that by simply existing you are already the difference. You are one unique star seed in the world, reflecting the universe back out at the world. It is the way that we forget our part and the real importance. In a way, I view it as how we give our power up. That is a much longer rant. The reason i want to write today though is because I am disturbed by the number of people around me as of late that aren't willing to speak up for themselves. It isn't because they are not wanting to, but they don't know how. Since they don't know how, they don't want to try. They seem to feel, that by doing so, they will make things worse.
You have the right to demand that you be treated fairly. You have the right to be seen as a person, to have accessible liberty. Air, water, housing - these are mundae things that Maslow's heirarchy of needs says are number one priorities. However, they are not the only base priorities. Being accepted, witnessed and acknowledged is a priority for most people, even if they don't realize it. This is because many of us don't own a mirror, not in the spiritual sense. It rarely comes with a new person's starter pack. Personal reflection is a developed trait.
Earlier in my life, I didn't get this. I saw the world how I saw it and since i happen to have a high IQ I thought how I saw it was right. Unless parents teach perception, I think many kids miss out. This leads them to not think about the world around them. Obvious stuff doesn't get noticed and slips by.
I know, it's a weird thought, right? The idea that one could simply want an honest, healthy relationship? Instead, we live in a world where consent is a privilege and manners mean you're a loser. That's bullshit.
Dating is bullshit. That is my take.
This is why I am a serial monogomist. I find a person that smells nice, that treats me decent, that makes me laugh and that can hopefully can keep up with me in the bedroom and then I try to let my freak-flag fly. The whole concept of dating makes me cringe. I am not saying it is bad, but it is bad for me. There are plenty of things that are bad for me, that shake my core and make me feel inadequate or insecure.
You know what I do with those things?
I avoid the shit out of them, just like everyone else.
What we need to avoid doing is checking out completely. It is one thing to avoid things that you don't like. It is quite another to check out. The reason I bring up dating is because ultimately, I find that a person can really be judged for who they are and how they are as a person, when you look at their dating history. Of course, we all have bad breaks (and break ups) that cause us to be twitchy, get some relationship PTSD... but then look at the rebound and you can almost always tell how a person is going to be under the real pressures of life.
No matter how we run, there are some things in life that won't just go away. Responsibility, taxes, pain, etc. These things are here and they are real. They make up our understanding of the world because, arguably, they are the things that prous to to grow. Relationships are the breeding ground of fortitude, personal understanding, growth , nd development. Relationships, whether romantic or otherwise are what cause us to react and to change. This is because, in my opnion, because people are social creatures. Left to our own devices we would bitch, fap and fuck off all day long. Those of us that are work a holics would bury ourselves in the pursuit of money. Others would explore and adventure, but still again, likely for their own gain. It is only through the perspective of others that we can see a reflection of the self. It is only with that reflection that we get the opportunity to fall in love, which is the ultimate challenge and reward rolled into one.
In a world of dick pics and posers, we have the choice to be a person of substance. Sometimes this means going against the grain. Sometimes this means not being popular. Sometimes it means being a square. I think that it is worth it though. I would rather be proud of myself than to be accepted by assholes, dude bros and douche bags. I don't need someone to tell me that I have a nice ass. I can look in the mirror. I don't need someone to tell me I am funny, or brazen or any other of the traits that I value in myself.
I do need someone to confirm these things though. I can find self-worth in my soul. I know that I have value. However, there needs to be a commodity present to make that value worth while. That is where other people come in
References:
The first image is one of my favorite memes, but i haven't been able to find out where it originated. If you know the author, please let me know. The same is true for the second.
All images were found on Google - available for reuse.
