How Have I Been?

How Have I Been?

I haven’t been very active on Hive lately. I think the way I’ve been feeling has had a lot to do with it. Trading has shaken my mood and affected my outlook on life. I won’t hide it: over the past few days, I’ve felt a lot of emotions, mostly difficult ones. Above all, stress.

In my previous post, I wrote that I had managed to recover some of my losses after being liquidated. I deposited $3,000 into my futures account and grew it to $6,000. But my happiness didn’t last long.

I opened a short position on ZEC, the same coin that had liquidated me before. Its price had already risen a lot, yet it went up by several dozen percent more. I could hardly believe a coin that well known could move so sharply. My position came within a few dozen dollars of being liquidated again. It was incredibly close. Maybe it was divine intervention that saved me.

I tried to reduce my losses and move my liquidation price further away. I started trading more aggressively, opening long positions against my short. My liquidation price gradually moved higher, and that ultimately saved me. Thankfully, I survived that move on ZEC.

For now, things have worked out. After the previous liquidation, I had just $50 left in my account. I managed to build it back up to $3,000, then $6,000, and now I’m at around $8,000. All of this happened in the last ten days.

Those were ten days of fighting my own weaknesses. Stress, feeling low, and the thought that I might lose everything, along with my chance to pursue my dreams. I felt awful, but I tried to carry on as usual around other people. I still had to go to work, smile, play with my kids, and spend time with them. Hardly anyone knows what’s going on in my head. I’ve never been someone who finds it easy to talk about my problems. I usually try to handle them on my own.

Does trading affect our mental well-being?

For me, it definitely does. When I’m winning, I’m happy and smiling. But there are also days, sometimes even weeks, when trading really weighs on me. Losing money hurts, and the risk of losing everything is even more stressful.

I haven’t felt this bad because of trading in a long time. I can accept one liquidation, no matter how big the loss is. The possibility of a second one is much harder to face. It scares me more because, after the first loss, I have far less room for error.

HIVE Is Going Up

On top of all that, the price of HIVE went up.

Someone might say, “You should be happy. You own a lot of HIVE!” And in a way, they’d be right. But the thought that I might not get another chance to buy HIVE at such a low price bothered me more than the rising value of what I already hold made me happy.

I also know that keeping my HIVE staked has its limitations. When the price rises suddenly, I can’t simply sell at the top and buy it back cheaper if it falls. That was one more small thing that didn’t help my mood over the past few days.