As promised - my orgasms article translated:
Six years. This is more or less a time frame in which I worked as a sexual instructor. What does a sexual counselor actually do, you ask? The answer is that there are many areas of training. What I did was to teach women to experience orgasms and multi-orgasms. As part of my job, I met thousands of women (and men and couples) and talked to them about orgasms, sexuality, intimacy & anatomy. Since I have spoken to thousands of women, I have heard a lot of nonsense in which women have been brainwashed over the years regarding the subject of female orgasm. I heard a lot of reasons why women do not experience orgasms, all without exception are well... lies. I allso heard a lot of references to women who do have multipal orgasms as nymphomaniacs and sluts just because they dare to experience sexuality like any woman can, & a lot of men's fears from what God forbid will happen if their spouse will experience the sexuality the best way they can.
Happily, I can say that every woman who came to me and my Colleagues in order to learn how to have grate orgasms learned to have grate orgasms. 100% success. So I want to shatter a myth, which I dont know why in the 21st century still exists, and give a subtitle to this article -
women - come. Any woman of any age, in any situation, can experience orgasm. Not just one. Any woman, of any age, in any situation can experience a multipal orgasms. Every woman can maximize her sexual experience. To come strong and good.
(image: worldizen)
While surfing the net, I occasionally come across articles on female sexuality. Old studies, new studies, opinions, discussions and more. To be honest, they almost always annoy me. The reason they annoy me is that most of them, even those who are pro-female orgasm, are full of nonsense and written to convince women that they have a problem, and that orgasm is something that, if not impossible, is so hard to get, & they better just give up. This week I also came across an article like this. An article that claims that as far as orgasmes concern - the size (and this time of the clitoris) - is what determines.
And so it begins: With all the lack of knowledge about the woman's sexual functioning, we may be approaching one step closer to the deciphering of the Enigma that is the female orgasm. Seriously? Lack of knowledge? The Enigma? Is it possible to start an article in a less encouraging way for women? In the 21st century, when there is so much available knowledge about the "sexual function" and female orgasms, when in the first sentence they assure that orgasm is something that is so hard to achieve, It is clear to me that this is another article aimed Preserve the norm saying - women can not experience their sexuality to a full, and here they will give us yet another excuse to justify it.
And of course this is exactly what happened - studies have found, so they write, that women who experience problems (yes, problems is their chosen word) with orgasms, have a distance between the clitoris and the vagina that is 5 m"m bigger than the average, and their clitoris is smaller. The scientists are unsure whether the clitoris size affects orgasms or orgasms on the clitoris size. Or as they put it - we do not know yet whether it's the egg or the chicken. Why is it annoying? because it is bullshit. The size of the clitoris has no effect on the ability to experience an orgasm. remember - 6 years - 100% success, I assure you that I have never measured anyone's clit. Presenting the orgasm as a problem that has no solution (the egg and the chicken) is a complete nonsense that sins women by suppressing and discouraging them before they even begun, rather than starting from the initial assumption that everyone can experience an orgasm, and this is only a matter of amusement and discovery & fun.
They continue - talking about sex poses. 2 sex poses exist, according to those guys -Missionary - the favorite position on women with orgasm problems, and Cowgirl - the position preferred to those who do experience orgasms.
Ok - I'll give them that, they understand the conaction between clitoral friction and orgasm. But (& that's a big but)- Are there no other postures in which there is friction to the clitoris? Is anyone who loves missionary doomed to a life of problems? The answer to the 2 uestions is - no.
& that is their conclusion -While female sexual dysfunction is a frustrating situation that has no clear source -
psychological or anatomical, and it's causes are diversed, understanding the anatomy of the clitoris is a significant step in the right direction. Well, now I feel like screaming ... dysfunction, frustration, lack of clear solution... Now - Go try an orgasm. Do you feel like it? After such promises, this is the last thing I would do. Even washing the pile of dishes waiting for me feels like a more pleasant utilization of my time.
So I have only one thing to say about this - fucking bullshit!
Now let's start from again -
women - come. Any woman of any age, in any situation, can experience orgasm. Not just one. Any woman, of any age, in any situation can experience a multipal orgasms. Every woman can maximize her sexual experience. To come strong and good.
(image - eroticserendipity)
What they did get right is that the answer is the clitoris. And here is a brief summary of what I learned and taught in my days as a sexual instructor. It takes a woman between 10 and 45 minutes of clitoris stimulation to reach her first orgasm ( the stimulation should be appropriate for her, and can be done by fingers, tongue, toys, or whatever your imagination suggests) How do you know what is appropriate? You try! it's fun I promess. If the stimulus is appropriate and we invest the required time in it, after the first orgasm the woman will feel awake horny & aroused. (lots of women feel sensitive and tired, I will notbore you with the details about the hormones - IIt is a sign that the stimulation is not good for her, try something else). Now it's best to continue with a second clitoral orgasm (it takes about half the time it took to get to the first one, and the time between orgasms is Shortening as we go along) - If the stimulus is right - after that she will be even more awake & horny, and -now- we get to THE G SPOT.
Why are there so many myths about it and why is it so hard to find? The answer is simple: Most people know where it is. Only a few know when to look for it.
So - where ? as you probably know about 5 c"m in the vagina, on the upper wall.
When? - After the first orgasm, (even the second)that comes from the clitoris.
Why? G-spot is actually a cross section of nerves that are responsible for sexual pleasure. 100% of these nerves in a womans body meet there. (and therefore when you find it you can fly high). only that It is found a few millimeters under the skin, and during regular times most women will not feel anything special there. After the orgasm, a lot of blood flows in to the G spot, the blood vessels dilate and actually "push" the G spot out. Now if we insert a finger - It will be really easy to experience orgasms in a row, combining the friction of the G and the clitoris, and this is the way to reach multipal orgasms and stop when you decide that you are done, also in penetration, when the penis Scratches the vaginal wall (cowgirl, doggy, missionary with a pillow under the pelvis, or any posture that creates a diagonal angle of the vagina)
If it's so simple, why do most women not get there?
Unfortunately, the answer is that most women do not invest the time required to get there, & are embarrassed to ask there partner to do, so what do I suggest?
1 - Ignore any article / book / video etc. that tells you that it is too difficult or not possible.
2 - Give yourself (alone or in a relationship) the time you need. Just try. For the purpose of the experiment I recommend releasing the "need" to succeed, and to reach, and simply - to enjoy the road.
3 - clitoral toys can help you learn. it also shortens the time it takes (with a good vibrator it takes only a few minutes to reach the first orgasm), it is diverse and it's fun.
What is important to pay attention to when choosing an toy?
- That it has allot of vibration levels &boptions (different women need different stimultion).
- That it has a strong engine that does not brake.
- If you are going on a toy that is also for penetration, it should be made from material that would'nt harm our vagina & are aproved for penetration (TPR is the most common example of good material, as opposed to softened plastic, which is the most common material not suitable for penetration).
- It should be a toy that feels right to you. Alone and together. Because the goal is of course to enjoy.
4 - Talk about it. With your partner, with friends, with an instructor like myself or with sexologists, because it is possible and worthwhile to learn more from those who can teach.
5 - Just enjoy - have fun. Try. You will find that the way to an orgasm is grate, and more than that - once you succeed two or three times, the body remembers the experience (a memory of a nerve cell) and from time to time it will be much easier and faster.
And to add to your desire, I will tell you (again without explaining hormones, and why it happens, because it's a bit boring ...) that a woman who has strong orgasms, continues to enjoy the consequences of it. Between 24-48 hours later, she will be more awake, more concentrated (recommended before tests and job interviews), happier and more relaxed, more horny and initiate more sex, and if all that is not enough, the face skin renews and becomes younger and fresher As a result of hormones injected into the blood during orgasm - an easy and pleasant way to anti-aging.
That is actually it. These are my 2 cents on female sexuality and orgasms. Now - leave the computer, go explore, and enjoy every moment.
(image: nevsedoma)