Today, I just want to take a break from all the anxiety I have been feeling since I learned about a terrible news here in our neighborhood. I don't want to dwell about it too much because it's hard to think about something you can't do anything about.
Right now, I am just clinging to the thought that we have done and are doing everything we can to not make the situation worse. But still the fear is all around me. I don't know what's going to happen to us, I don't know what we're going to do next. All we can do is wait. We have to wait until they say that the danger is over. That everyone of us in the neighborhood is safe. And that in itself is a big uncertainty.
I know the persons directly dealing with the problem is already feeling distressed. Hearing that kind of news would be so heartbreaking, so world-wrecking, I can only imagine how they are feeling right now. I chose to keep a constant communication with them (online, of course) instead of fleeing and just closing them out. But I did literally closed down our house, no windows or doors opened. Not to alienate them but just for precautionary measures. I have a three year old toddler I need to protect.
I am freaking out. But with a toddler in need of caring, I need to stay focused. I need to keep a positive mindset. Onward and upward. We must take extra care of our mental health. That's why I took my mind off of things that reminded me of the dangers right outside our doors.
I made videos, I made tutorials, I took the time to turn our wall into a big study board. (More of this on my next posts.)
Speaking of videos, I found old videos in my phone. This one I'm sharing is one where my daughter sabotaged my recording. I just wanted to see how I looked like during my Insanity workouts back then. I was surprised when I saw what she was doing the entire time I was filming it. This was shot at our old apartment, weeks before we transferred to this new one.
It's funny because our fitness goal last year was healthier2019. We did everything we can to be healthy. We lost weight along the process. At least, we are prepared. Thank you 2019!
I can say after revisiting my videos, filming new ones, pimping up my youtube channel, preparing lesson plans and study materials, my mind was able to breathe. Now, I am still afraid. But at least, I don't have the panic in my heart the way I felt when I first heard the news. I now know how I can face this situation in a much healthier way.
This pandemic really did bring out the extremes in all of us. It brings out the best in the best of us, and the worst in the worst of us. It is understandable that us humans will always opt for survival. Fight or flight. Survival of the fittest. But we should not let this take away our humanity. Pray for our safety, hope that this goes away soon, educate ourselves so we do not jump into wrong judgements. understand that ignorance often causes more chaos and panic. Let us all stay healthy and safe. Keep ourselves informed. Let us all stay human. Be humane. Be kind.
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