A lot of people attended her funeral. People who never cared for her when she's still alive.
They cried as if they knew her all her life. I wanted to laugh because they look so ridiculous.
It's damn funny.
They say she's too young to die, and that's quite true. She shouldn't have died...
December 22
"Tashiro-senpai, can you finish my report? Promise I'll treat you to lunch tomorrow, or I can even buy the newly released volume of your favorite manga," Sanya said as she handed out a thick folder filled with paperwork.
Tashiro sighed, and without looking up at her, he answered, "The latter, please..."
Sanya chuckled, "You'll never really accept my lunch treats, huh? It's a one-time offer, Tashiro-senpai."
"You've already asked me a lot of time... and no, I have no time for that," he flatly declined with his eyes still on the computer monitor.
Sanya just clicked her tongue and frowned because she knew she couldn't really convince him.
"Suit yourself then...", she said with a hint of reluctance. Then quietly, she left without saying goodbye.
'She's pissed...', he thought silently.
Sanya's a nice girl, yet he never saw her more than a co-worker. He doesn't want to play with her feelings or waste time working out on a thing he knew wouldn't flourish.
She's just another coworker—no less and no more.
After hours of non-stop work, he looked up at the wall clock to find that it was way past 8:00 in the evening. He frowned when he heard his stomach grumble.
"Time to go home...", he muttered silently as he packed up his things. However, just before he could go out of the building, rain suddenly suddenly poured out.
'Damn... How am I supposed to go home now?', he cursed silently in his mind as he gazed upwards at the stark night skies.
"Great," he muttered sarcastically.
"Great weather, is it?", a voice chimed in.
He almost jumped in fright when he heard someone talk behind him. He cursed again as he whirled around to see who it was.
'Good lord! Do you want to kill me with shock—'
He stood transfixed for a moment when he saw who it was. Despite how bad the weather was, her face shone radiantly, as if there's an invisible ray of light shining down on her.
"Am I dead now?", he said while clutching his chest.
The woman looked at him alarmingly. Concern was evident in her face as she cautiously moved forward to gently tap his shoulder.
"Uhmm... You aren't dead yet, Mr..?", she answered in a hesitant tone.
When he realized how stupid he sound, he looked away in embarrassment.
"Sorry... I didn't mean to scare you," he apologized. Still embarrassed, he can't bring himself to look at her directly, but out of nowhere she chuckled. He looked at her with a start, and once again he was caught in trance.
"Want to grab a grub with me, Mr...?", she asked while beaming at him.
"Tashiro, just call me Tashiro."
She chuckled a little. "That's a cute name... although you didn't look like a Japanese at all."
He smiled sheepishly and scratched his chin. "Do I? Miss..?"
"Emma, just Emma, and also Tashiro I guess that was a yes?"
Without hesitation, he nodded—unknowingly starting their long nights together.
December 23
"You're weird!", she exclaimed as she playfully hit his arm.
He just laughed as he munched the fast food dinner they had bought.
"I'm not the only one who's weird here! Come on...you know what I mean," he said while smirking at her.
"Now, now, don't be like that, Tashiro! I already shared my personal stuff with you. Don't be spoilsport and share your personal stuff also—especially those embarrassing ones!"
"Did I force you to share?"
"No—but you looked sad yesterday, so I thought that embarrassing stuff would cheer you up, and I think it was really effective."
"Was it?"
"Of 'course it was!"
"Ok, ok, fine—I concede... I'll share some or maybe a little."
"Hey, that's no fair! I shared—"
"I rejected a girl... repeatedly."
"Is that supposedly embarrassing? Or are you lowkey bragging?"
"I don't know, but it's kinda embarrassing for me. I'm supposed to have a family by this age, but here I am—still stuck to being a miserable man, and it's not due to circumstances because it's my choice."
"Ohhh...so you're saying you once thought you weren't straight because you didn't like her back?"
He looked at her shocked. "God... When did I say that? No... Maybe?"
That made her crack up, and together they laughed. They laughed continuously until tears welled in her eyes due to excessive laughing. They're both out of breath when they finally stop.
"Why are we laughing again?", she asked while smiling at him.
"I don't know... but now I'm sure I'm straight."
"How?"
"Because of you..."
She looked at him baffled, and when she realized what he meant, she smiled pensively.
"I wish I met you earlier..."
"Why?"
"Nothing. It's just...nothing."
But he wished she meant it. And surely she did.
December 24
It was also raining that night, but that time she was crying uncontrollably. As much as he wanted to ask why, he couldn't bring himself to. She looked really upset, and he doesn't want to add more to it.
"I—I can't lose you... You're the only one I had," she said in between her sobs.
He hugged her while caressing her back. She continued sobbing until it gradually subsided. When she calmed a bit, he tried to ask her.
"What happened?"
"I—I... My visions came back again... Yo—you died. My visions never failed to come true," she said in between her sobs.
"Shhh... Maybe you're just tired. Calm down. That surely won't happen...", he said in a consoling manner.
She looked at him with disbelief in her eyes.
"You didn't believe me?", she asked in a pained voice.
"No, no... You're putting words in my mouth."
She looked away in defeat, but as soon as she saw where they were, she then paled.
And the next thing he saw was a blinding light approaching them. He braced himself for the impact, yet when he's about to get hit, she shoved him just a second away.
She was smiling at him, and that's the last thing he saw before he hit the ground.
Then everything went black.
He didn't attend her burial ceremony. It's not that he didn't want to.
He just can't.
In a brief period of time, she made him feel alive—more alive than what he felt on the previous years he spent by merely working and existing.
He knew there was only one of her. Only one.
And seeing her serene face inside the casket was like torture to him.
She looked like she was only sleeping, but no matter how hard he'd try to wake her up, he knew he couldn't.
'I haven't even said goodbye to her...'
As soon as a tear fell, several followed. Tears stream incessantly down his face.
For the first time after he lost her, he allowed himself to cry, and he cried like there's no tomorrow.
'Maybe there's really no tomorrow. Even a long goodbye won't be enough to express the things I wanted to say to her...'
And if she would come back to say goodbye, he knew that days, months, and years wouldn't be enough. He wished it would last forever... It has to be.
Because he knew he's still not prepared and he thinks he will never be.
