Itโs not the weekend yet, but for me it already feels like it because of our new schedule. At first glance, our schedule seemed like a blessing for us because who wouldnโt like three-day classes per week? However, that happiness soon vanished when I experienced how it feels to have that kind of schedule. It's exhausting beyond measure. It was only Wednesday yesterday, but I feel like I already received a weekโs worth of fatigue. Unlike before, our schedule had some free time, but now itโs cramped to the point that thereโs a day we get to miss our snack break. We had to endure almost six hours of straight classes, and by the time we finished our third period, I was almost to my fainting point.
I probably still havenโt adjusted to it, but still I feel like itโs hard because itโs been a long time since I experienced that kind of setup. The last time I had a whole-day class was way back in my high school years, when I, without doubt, was definitely with my fountain of youth. I guess that fountain had already dried by the time I graduated my younger years because now it seems everything felt like a drag. Almost everything is creaking in my body, and I know my dextroscoliosis is prolly worsening. Speaking of creaking bones, mentioning that reminds me that Iโm just a couple days away from the yearly reminder I existedโyeah, my birthday.
In my younger years, in these days I was definitely excited and jittery about how Iโd celebrate that day. Also, Iโm looking forward to a lot of things, the majority of which are the greetings and gifts Iโll receive that day. But now that Iโm significantly older, yet obviously still not wiser, I donโt look forward that much to that day anymore. Not that Iโm not grateful that I was able to survive another year, but because I realized that itโs just another normal day. It somehow didnโt feel as special as it felt like before, prolly because itโs a warning that Iโm a year closer to being dust again. I donโt want to sound pessimistic, but I think with this kind of body, I wouldnโt last long. Not that I wanted to anywayโฆbecause even though Iโm part antisocial, I donโt want to be left alone. As much as possible, if Iโm leaving, I wanted to be the first.
Sharing this felt weird because these thoughts just sprang out of my mind suddenly. I just remembered my coming birthday because my body is aching all over, meaning Iโm really getting old. Iโm just in my really early twentiesโฆbut it feels oddly older. Sigh, donโt mind me; maybe Iโm just overreacting right now, or perhaps itโs one of the episodes of what they call birthday blues. Either way, if itโs just like thatโI hope itโll go away soon.