So he decided to marry this beautiful girl because she perfectly fitted his opinion of that suitable life partner. She was so loving, caring and passionate about him and the relationship. She was very homely and cooking wonderful meals was for her a delight. She was so respectful, not only of his parents and relatives but his friends as well. She appeared to come from a good home as her parents and siblings also showed proper respect to this suitor, his relatives and friends. Everything looked good and everyone was happy.
This thirty-five years old man resolved to get married as soon as possible due to pressure from different ladies in different places where he had to be. At work, at play, in church, the neighborhood everywhere he went the advances were quite daring and the schemes were sometimes obnoxious and unthinkable, some single ladies can be desperate sometimes especially for a guy like him.
A six figure income earner working for one of the major oil firm in Nigeria. His first class result in petrochemical engineering from one of the leading universities in the United States was not a fluke, he was very good, hence found genuine relevance at work and was indeed a performer.
He already owned a five bedroom duplex in Ikoyi, four brand new luxurious cars, 2 SUVs and 2 sedans. A Gardner, maid, cook with two security guards, frequent business class travels to different countries of the world, his fancy dressing and very good looks was a mega plus single ladies found quite irresistible. He was for them, that eligible bachelor their pastor prophesied was coming their way. The pressure on this gentle, kind-hearted, young successful bachelor was unbearable. So when this innocent looking, beautiful, dedicated, loving, hardworking and respectful, god-fearing young lady showed up in his life, he decided to marry her.
It was a lavish wedding, the who-is-who in town were all present, the media covered it, designers, celebrities, and notable personalities were all present and tagged on Instagram – a typical societal wedding, I must say. Everyone was happy especially the couple.
Fast forward eight months into the marriage, a shocking, unfortunate incidence happened. This man, on an official trip by road had a ghastly motor accident. It was very bad, but he survived. After being in a coma for about five days, he finally came to. That was when he discovered he couldn’t move some parts of his body. He suffered a severe spinal cord injury and he would never walk again.
Exactly 90 days after being discharged from the hospital, he wheeled himself from the entrance of his apartment to his car and got in with the help of his personal male nurse. He got into the vehicle and left for work.
By the time he returned, his loving wife had packed all her belongings, some other valuables in the home and disappeared with two of his cars. This happened in 2015 and till today no one knows where she is. More painful was the fact that she disappeared with a seven months old pregnancy.
Ladies and gentlemen, one of the factors working against our ability to truly succeed and progress rapidly in life is our loss of originality. The core of who we are and our essence as humans have been subjugated through rife societal conditioning. Because many of us have been strongly influenced by the dictates and trends of the society, we have lost our authentic selves completely. We don’t know who we are anymore, we keep looking for essence and meaning in things, with people and in places and not within ourselves.
Many of us today draw significance from public commendation, appreciation and approval.
Most of our daily activities, choices, proclivities and even reasoning have been conditioned based on the factors of reward or threat.
Think with me this morning, why do you do most of what you do? Why do you do things you don’t like or enjoy doing? Why do you ignore things you really love and want to do? It’s most likely due to fear or reward. It’s the outcome of external conditioning. Have you perhaps given up on your real original self, your authentic self, your real being, your genuine, undisputed, veritable self to adopt a life style, pattern an inclination most popular and celebrated by the society?
In my opinion, the lady married this man based on what he represented not for whom he was. She didn’t fall in love with him, she obviously fell in love with what he represented in her life and to the society. Immediately that representation had a reproach, she took off with some of his stuff and his unborn child never to return.
Dear friend, who are you? What do you really want? What makes you really and genuinely happy? Let’s for a moment assume the whole world is blind; no one can see you, would you be wearing clothes so expensive? Would you be driving the car you drive? Would you be living in such an expensive apartment? If no one can see all you own and all you wear, the wheels you drive and your crib, would you still spend so much acquiring and maintaining such lifestyle?
Is your lifestyle driven by the need to impress or your commitment to your genuine happiness and fulfilment?
A meaningful repositioning of your life for success, happiness and greatness this year is in reconnecting with your authentic self. Being yourself is the only way you can remain committed to your success plans without being distracted by vain competition and fake competitors.
Why date a man you don’t love, why study a course you don’t like, why hold on to a job you don’t like, why remain in an abusive friendship or relationship, why marry a person based on family name, why live a life frustrating your own soul so as to impress or please people who don’t really care?
Why give up on things, people, career, business, friendships, relationships, associations and lovers you genuinely love simply because someone or some persons you admire don’t appreciate the things you love and appreciate?
What do you personally value, what’s your self-worth, how is your self-esteem? what’s your outlook to life? how do you perceive life? Do you have a personal life concept or it keeps changing based on new friendships, associations and trends? Are you a victim of “what will people say?”
If you choose to hold on to anyone or anything based on fear or reward and not because it brings you happiness, joy or satisfaction, you may eventually have regrets – living a life not meant for you.
Nothing and no one endures forever only the almighty. If you permit the fear of something or reward in something keep you tied down against your genuine desire, love or happiness, when such things, institutions and people go down, you’ll definitely go down with it in regret.
Since 2015, this woman hasn’t returned, no one knows her whereabouts or what happened to the pregnancy. What a life. Dear friend, be true to yourself. Let the core of your being find happiness and peace with and in anything you choose, that’s authenticity.
