For many, having a father figure is something beautiful. Most want that admirable figure, that father who loves them, guides them, listens to them, respects their tastes and teaches them to be true to themselves, to give their unconditional support and to feel that they are their best friend. In my case and that of my stepbrothers, it was the opposite. From childhood I lived a nightmare and never saw his end come.
My father is an Engineer, and a bodybuilder. He had a lot of strength, a lot of muscles. A very macho person, very serious. with problems. We were afraid in just talking to him. We did not have freedom, we were subject to the oppression of him. He worked us at his whim. His language was verbal and physical abuse, it became daily. My half brothers were older. He was always rougher with them, I do not know if because his mother died and they were alone. They fled and I was alone at fourteen, so I vent their anger with me.
Since I was little I always lived with fear. He always stressed to us that we were nobody. And we served for him. It made us feel very small and inferior. But I did not have belonged with that. There were so many episodes and it's hard to remember all those offenses, those punches, the blood, the bruises. And not being able to say anything to continue and continue as if nothing happened. That's how my childhood and my adolescence and those of my half-brothers went on. I never had the freedom to leave my house. I could not have a voice about what I liked. Not who I wanted to be in life. As I liked having hair or dressing, I had no expression, freedom. Nothing, he was just a pawn. We had to treat him as king and be his puppet.
Then to learn about my sexuality. Freaks out. It prohibits everything and is more radical. Now more than ever I could not leave my house. He left me at school and picked me up. I could not even do group work. I had to change them to individual, if they did not allow me at school, I had to fail them. He deprived me of all my communications, the telephone, the computer. I could not even watch television. Sometimes he would eat in front of me and refuse to give me. I humiliated myself, and beat for no reason day after day it offended me and challenged me to cry if I did it became rougher the situation, hit me dry. He always lowered his head, he had to keep everything and keep quiet. I had no choice.
My childhood was very unhappy, it was full of nuances and gray areas. I felt it was an object and nothing else. Many times I cried. I went through a lot of depression. Attempted suicide. I did not feel that it was worth living like that in any way.
Being a happy and loving soul helped me to continue and counteract everything. I was like this for two years, it was only a matter of time before I graduated from high school. Order all my affairs and I went for more never to return! It is difficult to live in such injustice, to be so vulnerable, small and not be able to do anything. It is so unfair that they take advantage of an innocent child. They are so cowardly. I do not accept it and I do not agree with any of this that happens in many families. This was an episode and I did not let this affect my life. I overcome it and I am very happy to get out of all the suffering.
From the trunk I show them a picture with my uncle, he is a military man, with six years and a smile.
