A lasting relationship is based on several bases that must be solidified over time and sharing, but there is a key that the couple must cultivate from the beginning: honesty.
I get myself, with your partner, with the values you share and with your way of seeing life.
"Once I had a boyfriend who was very nice and we did not talk about anything. We did not have interests in common, we only looked good in the photos. Her physique attracted so much that all my friends stimulated my relationship. When I understood that I was not the right person, I let it go, "says life coach Ana Prabo.
Experts point out that for a relationship to be lasting it must be based on something other than superficiality and that respect, communication and sharing interests and life projects are fundamental for the relationship to work.
However, before thinking about the other person, it is important to know if you are ready to have a healthy and therefore lasting relationship.
"On one occasion a friend told me that his girlfriend excused his jealousy for a situation that lived in his family: his father had been unfaithful to his mother, therefore she could not trust men and hence derived her hobby of celar ", says the expert.
A relationship with another person can last a long time, but remember that the relationship with yourself will be forever.
5 golden rules for not having ephemeral relationships
The coaching of life, Ana Prabo, was given the task of investigating what are the rules to have a lasting relationship. "I went to people with stable and lasting relationships in time to give me their advice. From what I learned I got 5 golden rules to not have an ephemeral relationship ":
1 Find a person you admire: if you are going to be with someone, look for someone who admires you and who you admire. Do not rely on what your friends or family say, just listen to your heart. You know what you want.
2 Be realistic in love: a couple told me that "happily ever after" does not exist. When time passes, people change. Wrinkles appear or new factors such as work, a disease or any circumstance can alter the direction of a relationship. What makes a relationship last is the choice to decide to love that person every day, with its changes and with everything that happens. True love implies a commitment in the present, in the day to day. It is a love that understands that there will be days where they will not be happy, but still it will always be there: supporting, trusting, giving.
3 Cultivate respect more than communication: When I speak of respect, I mean many aspects. It is to respect that your partner has different interests, is to respect your partner in front of others and not to speak ill of it. It is respect and not tell lies or walk with secrets. It is to respect that when you have anger, do not use rude language and try to say things without hurting. That and much more. If respect is lost once, it never comes back.
4 A healthy relationship is made by two healthy individuals: if there is something that I have learned in relationships that work, it is composed of two individuals who love each other and know themselves. They are people who have friends, who have hobbies, who are independent, who do not seek to fill gaps with a relationship and are only willing to give themselves in love. First marry yourself and then someone else.
5 Learn to forgive: it is very important to cultivate forgiveness, but a real one. If your partner did something that hurt you and it is your decision to continue, you must turn the page and start over, believing and trusting in the present and leaving the past behind.
How to create a lasting relationship?
Esther Rodríguez
Personal-Executive Coach
To know ourselves: to love ourselves well, before going out into the world in search of that love that we lack. One does not beg for love.
Conscious and free commitment: a relationship is built from a free commitment by both people. Nothing is forced. We do not have to please to be loved. Who knows himself does not have to show another face different from the world.
Communication: our way of communicating is our way of thinking and feeling. It is important to communicate properly in the couple, to grow and manage conflicts, when hearts are distant.
Compassion: look at the other with eyes of tenderness before their problems and know how to extend that helping hand to lift it when it falls. Compassion has to do with authentic love, pity with fear.
Empathy: put ourselves in the place of the other, in the way of thinking and feeling. To be an example of life, to help you navigate the bumps of life, helping you to manage your own conflicts in this way.
The affective and sexual bond: affective and sexual energy bring hearts that are distanced when the ego always wants to take its reason. Nothing more beautiful than being accomplices of caresses, kisses and skin.
Personal development: when each of the members of the couple is committed to their personal development, their conscience, every day they wake up and their light will lead life instead of their shadows.
Respect for personal freedom: we love each other but we know how to respect each person's corner of peace in order to connect with their authentic being.
Trust: in itself, trust is a risk, but when loyalty and fidelity prevail in our scale of values, trust is not feared.
Joint responsibility: We are each responsible for our life and together we have other objectives to achieve.
Values of life: each one has its own scale of values, but we share some of the fundamentals to direct us in the same vital direction.
