Greetings to everyone in this beautiful community. Today I'm going to share with you a small reflect about me.
I grew up with a mentality of pleasing other people. This was one of the parts in me that hurt me most. At times I have two things to say, but this is the first one. I always loved to make people feel good without thinking of myself. So when I was coming up, I realized this would not help me.
There was a certain time I was together with my neighbor. We were just like friends, but we weren't intimate, so I couldn't understand his behavior. I always tried to make things better together with him. Whenever he was in need of help, he always came to me, and I would do my possible best to assist him in any way. Even when I didn't have what he requested at the moment, I would squeeze and try my possible best to see that I helped him.
Along the way, I understood that he was just trying to take from me, and we were just together because I always helped him. So he showed me that if I stopped helping him, we could not relate anymore. As time went on, I tried to stay back by not giving him his heart's desire at the moment. This is how he stayed far away from me, not even checking up on me anymore.
So this really hurt me a lot, but it is also a lesson to me. And that lesson is, when someone is trying to please other people without checking if it's okay for themselves, it's going to hurt that person. So I always try to make sure I'm okay first before any other person.
The other thing I observed in my life, and I turned away from it, helped me work smoothly in life, is "depending on others." I never knew that I had strength until when strength was the only thing I had to save me.
I am a fashion designer, so I sew both male and female dresses, but I depend mostly on male clothes. I sew female clothes too, but not that much.
So when I was still learning, I never knew I could sew a specific dress for my sister when there was a special celebration for my brother's wedding, and there was not enough time for my sister to give the clothes to another tailor and receive it at the appropriate time. So she decided to give it to me.
I thought I could not sew that dress because each time someone gave me clothes, I always took it to my shop for help. But this time, there was no one at the shop for that period of time, and I just decided to do it because there was no other option.
But when I finished that dress, even she herself was very amazed. And right from that time, I always try to do things by myself and not depend on any other person. And that move changed many things about my life and made me more independent.
