The bar was packed. Friday night and all that. People getting wasted after a long week of whatever the hell they did for money. I was on my second beer when I spotted her across the room.
Dessa was standing near the jukebox with some guy I'd never seen before. Tall dude. Nice suit. Probably worked in finance or some shit. When she laughed at something he said, I felt my stomach drop.
It had been three months since we broke up. Three months of me telling myself I was over it when I clearly wasn't.
Before I knew what I was doing, I was walking over. Bad idea, but when had that ever stopped me?
"Hey," I said, sliding up next to them.
Dessa's smile faltered. "Vince. Hi."
The guy glanced between us, picking up on the tension immediately.
"This is Merritt," she said. "Merritt, this is Vince. My ex."
Merritt nodded and held out his hand. "Nice to meet you."
I shook it. Firm grip. Of course.
"So, um--how've you been?" I asked Dessa.
"Good. Really good actually. Merritt and I work together at the firm."
"Cool, cool."
An awkward silence followed. Merritt cleared his throat.
"I'm gonna grab another round. You want anything?" he asked Dessa.
"I'm good, thanks," she said.
Merritt nodded and headed to the bar, leaving us alone.
I rocked back on my heels. "He seems... nice."
"He is nice," Dessa said.
"And boring as hell, right?"
She rolled her eyes. "Don't start, Vince."
"What? I'm just saying, the guy looks like he irons his underwear."
"Not everyone needs to be a disaster to be interesting."
That stung. "I'm not a disaster."
"You showed up to my parents' anniversary dinner with a black eye because you got in a fight with a bouncer."
"He was being a d*ck about my ID--and that was one time."
"You lost your job because you told your boss his idea was stupid."
"It was stupid! And I got a better job after that."
"Which you also lost."
I sighed. "Okay, fine. I'm working on my impulse control."
Dessa gave me a look that was somehow both exasperated and fond. "Oh yeah? How's that going?"
"Terribly. I'm standing here talking to my ex-girlfriend while her date is at the bar."
A laugh escaped her. It was the real one--the one where her nose scrunched up a little. Not the polite one she'd been giving Merritt.
And just like that, I felt that old pull.
"You know," I said, leaning in slightly, "I miss you."
Her expression softened. "Vince..."
"I'm just saying. Maybe we gave up too quickly."
"We broke up because you can't get your shit together. Has that changed?"
I thought about lying, but she'd always seen right through me. "Not completely. But I'm trying. I got a new job at that tech startup downtown. I'm going to therapy. Like, actual therapy with a professional and everything."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah. Turns out I have some... issues to work through."
"No shit."
I laughed. "Anyway, I'm working on it. For me, not for--you know. Not expecting anything."
She studied me for a moment. Her eyes were still the same deep brown I remembered. "Hm, aren't you the most charming little idiot?"
I grinned, relieved at the teasing tone. "Haha! Yes, I- wait, what did you call me?"
Her lips curved up at the corners. "You heard me."
Before I could respond, Merritt returned with drinks. Perfect timing.
"Everything okay over here?" he asked, handing Dessa a glass of wine she definitely hadn't asked for.
"Yeah," she said, taking it anyway. "Just catching up."
"Great." Merritt smiled at me. "So, Vince, what do you do?"
The next few minutes were painful small talk. I told him about my new job. He told me about his work in corporate law. I tried not to yawn. Dessa watched us both with an amused expression, like she was enjoying some private joke.
When Merritt excused himself to the bathroom, I raised my eyebrows at Dessa. "Seriously? This guy?"
She shrugged. "He's stable. Reliable."
"Sounds thrilling."
"Not everyone wants thrilling all the time, Vince. Sometimes it's nice to know what to expect."
I nodded slowly. "Fair enough. But you don't love him."
"It's our third date, you jackass."
"And?"
"And I'm figuring things out. Just like you are."
I looked down at my beer. "Yeah."
When I looked up again, she was watching me with an expression I couldn't quite read.
"What?" I asked.
"Nothing. Just... it's good to see you. Even if you are still an idiot."
"But a charming one, right?"
She rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. "God help me."
Merritt returned, and I knew it was time for me to go. I said my goodbyes and headed for the door, feeling both better and worse than when I'd arrived.
Outside, the night air was cool against my face. I thought about going home, but my apartment felt too empty lately. Instead, I texted my buddy Zeke to see if he was around.
As I waited for a response, my phone buzzed with a message. It was from Dessa.
"Coffee next week? As friends. I want to hear more about this therapy thing."
I smiled down at my phone. It wasn't a reconciliation. It wasn't a promise. But it was something.
"Name the time and place," I typed back. "I'll be there."