18 and now grateful

Bright smiles, loud laughs, and their happy faces radiated to me like sunbeams of blessed mornings and sweet hot afternoons erasing my birthday blues.

I saw all shades of yellow but those were never blinding. I realized it's me, the problem is me. Too fogged by all blues surrounding my mind that I did not feel the people who are trying to warm me with their embrace. The smiles and pure-intention well wishes I received from my family and friends completed me. I was always an attention-seeker, and their appreciation and approval always mattered. They're happy, they're glad, they wished all the best things to come and find me— and it was not the other way around.

I was 18, and yellows are everywhere. Hundreds of people I do not know personally but knew me, took an effort to greet me on my social media accounts. I received greetings from internet friends around the world, and what touched me most was to realized maybe "I had made a good impact on their lives, after all".

Friends I met online left messages to me, telling me their gratitudes, wishes, and confessions of how I inspired them in their lives. One young friend who's close to me for two years already told me that I became a big part of her growth. Another friend told me how thankful she was to meet me because of my character.

I was beyond happy to know that the people who surround me see me as who I am, and what I am always trying to become.

18 is not that bad, I supposed—or for the meantime. I still see 18 as a renewal and a dead start. I'll be starting again to crawl, how to talk, to walk the adult life ahead. The responsibilities are still heavy and they are constant. However, 18 is the time to practice and be used to lifting my double-heavy baggages.

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