About two years ago, I lost my mind. In classic fashion, I shaved my head, sold my things, and changed almost everything about my life in approximately one month.
It may be one of the best things that has happened to me. I guess we will see. I've said that before about other things.
Not all of the changes were bad, and not all of them good, but all of them a culmination of living in abusive relationships, indoctrination, and untreated mental illness. A 29 year old mother of two, I stopped working, though keeping a job had never been a strong point, and lost hope. I spiraled in and through a breakdown like one of those nightmare coasters, shakey bolts and all. Even so, I tried embracing the idea that my worth was not quantifiable by how many hours I worked or dollars I made. I embraced letting go of my material possessions (this took two tries and I never reached my minimalist goals.) I traveled across the country with relatively no money and both bad and good company. I lived communally, and learned how broken I truly was, and what it was like to be loved anyway.
I'm going to pause here and tell you that this is not a redemption story. This is not about "making it out" or "beating the odds." I mean, sure, I want to not feel alone. I want others to maybe not feel alone because of me, but that is not my sole purpose.
In those short two years, I saw that I have always been passionate about my beliefs, but that I have never done anything. That is what this is about. Doing something. Not just the blog, but in everything, what do I do to make my community and the world a better place for myself, my kids, my neighbors, and my enemies? It is about chronicling my journey toward prupose, and in that it is somewhat selfish. A public report of my successes and failures. But, gathering myself from the event horizon, it isn't such a bad way to try and escape the black hole.
Your friendly neighborhood ReformedPirate.
