What's up gang?

I am sitting in my leather chair, that supports my back, but I barely sit straight when I am writing. I tilt towards the right, I hunch my upper back, like an old grumpy man and I rest my left arm at the edge of the desk, causing a mild, but familliar pain.

I don't believe I am lost in the traditional sense of the word. I am looking around. I have a vision of a vision. I know what I will do in the next 10 years, but I can't grasp the details. I have a mental picture and systems in place to go there.

There was a time I would just swing it. It can be fun at times, anticipating an event that may change your life. Because something will happen, right?

"Everything is going to work out in the end"

This is one of the most painful lies we are told, since the moment we are borned. It implies that no matter what, a miracle will happen and suddenly you'll accquire everything you ever wanted.

But it's not true, is it? And even if it WAS true,, it wouldn't be fair.

I know, life isn't fair, but not in the way you think.

Let's say that indeed everything is going to work out in the end. No matter your choices, your actions, your attitude or you work ethic.

For some reason, the moment you hit 30, a 6 ft blonde sweedish model will knock on your door, hand you a bag full of cash, along with the lambo keys and will immediately get on her knees and give you the best blowjob you ever got, while telling you she will love you unconditionally forever. OH! And that she will get a boobjob.

First of all, this is a child's dream, yet I just described the ultimate fantasy for 80% of the adult male population. What does that tell you, since perhaps 2-3% will actually achieve it? Anyway...

Why you, a bumb that is risk averse, with low tolerance to stress will achieve the same life with someone who takes risks and has skin in the game?

Hint: You won't. It wouldn't be fair, not statistically correct, because certain choices correlate with specific results.

Why do you think you deserve to achieve your dreams if you NEVER work towards them? Why you feel entitled to a better life, when you are a lazy piece of shit, with no exceptional skill and an attention span that won't allow you to finish this post?

Sure, you aren't one of the lucky ones that already knew their purpose in life since they were teenagers. That's ok. Come here you broken shell of a functioning human being. Dust off the dorritos crumbs from your bulging belly and let's see what we can do...

When you are lost, you have no other choice but to explore

You have a job. A roof over your head. I hope you are healthy.

That's a solid foundation right there. Be proud you are still alive (don't). What can we do with such a raw diamond like yourself?

You don't know why the world needs you alive and you don't really understand why you need the world. You have the basic desires, but you are a lazy fuck to go after them.

Wanna know something fascinating?

YOU DONT FUCKING MATTER

No one is going to save you. Your life won't get better, unless you make it better. When you sleep at night and that cosmic terror of meaningless existence haunts you, you null yourself with happy everything-is-gonna-work-out thoughts.

You are a maldaptive daydreamer.Guess what? At some point in your life, when that soul-sucking feeling visits you, you won't be able to fend it off. It will consume you and control your life every night.

Good news is, you will wake up and eat a bunch of sugar and get dizzy. But the ghost of your once future, but now dead, self is going to keep visiting you every night. F O R E V E R.

Hey, you still have football on Sundays, so nothing to worry about :()

-Thatredbeardguy