I have been at the very bottom of life, where everywhere I look—left and right—all I see is trouble haunting me. I feel down most of the time because life treats each of us differently based on what we give to it. I wish I could stop feeling down under the burden I carry daily, but one thing I am sure about is that this weight won't end until I change the things that pull me under.
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I have felt the end of life inside me—moments when I eagerly wanted to vanish from the earth. But now I know one thing: I might be curious about what another life holds, but it is not yet time for that. You and I both feel down at times, and every low hits differently depending on what we are going through. Can I tell you something that helps me feel alive again? It’s simply the words I speak to myself:
"I am down, but what does this feel like, and what good can I do from where I am?"
I might stay in this lowest point until I figure out what to do with it or how to lift myself up. These words make sense to me because first, I need to accept where I am. While I am here, the world keeps moving and time doesn't pause for anyone. The point is, I don't need to stop moving forward, even when I lose everything I tried to build.
I have lost a lot of money. Money fades and moves on to whoever knows how to make it stay. I missed the tactics of money and watched it vanish into thin air. We lose money just like that, but the point is knowing when money needs to be stacked and when it needs to be put out to bring a return. We all want growth, and the only way is putting it where it can yield more.
Loved ones move on, and time makes it more vivid. You wish to be with someone forever, but fate takes us on different paths and pulls us sideways. The most painful part is watching a loved one fade into the west, into a void where you won't have them anymore. I have watched them fade, and it is the hardest part of life, but I accept that maybe they needed to go.
The lowest point hits differently whether it comes to rebuild us or destroy us. From my experience, it rebuilt me into the man I am meant to be in the years to come. I may not fully be what I originally wanted, but I am sure I will be what I needed to be. In the end, no matter what we wanted, becoming what we needed will be the reason we find peace and enjoy whatever life we have left.