For Pap --
You are all alone among us. Your mind is not your own. I cannot comfort you in the way I did Grammy by shaving my head. I cannot turn my memory off, I cannot lose sight of mechanics or at least the remembrance of such things, I cannot erase years from my life.
I assure you though if I could I would. I would linger in yesteryear; I would stumble by on bad days and celebrate the good ones.
Your fifty years lost would be like twenty for me. I would be thirteen again. I would relive playing outside with the neighborhood crew, the awkwardness of puberty, the feeling of youth, and the ups and down of a time I thought would last forever. Unlike you though, I would not recall my younger childhood days. I have few memories of being “real young”. But, I remember and cherish the time with those who have since passed, although even those memories aren’t all that vivid. I have no boyfriends to speak of as an early teen, no real excitement or romps as you had. But I have carefree days and the thrill of imagination.
Yes, if I could I would, if even for one day to switch places with you; to give you a day with current memory and awareness. I promise you I would do this! I promise I will always be there; through all frustration, spats, and off days. You never left me all the days of my life so far and so, I will never leave you!
By, Tiffany Simar
3/19/17
