It never does.
Like the time when I was 26 huddled in my blanket wishing for the thoughts and memories to go away but they persisted regardless.
Or the time at my wedding that I got so anxious my friends that stayed the night had to keep an eye on me everywhere I went in case I bolt.
I would have never bolted, but I wasn't used to that much pressure at the time and weddings, they can be stressful.
Or like the time I had my wife crying her eyes out and I had to listen to all what she had to say, without judgement, without flying off the handle, just taking it on the chin and amending my behaviour.
Fire never asks if you're ready.
It comes when you least expect it and it comes like a ravenous Vulture, ready to tear the dead parts off your body as you are still alive and screaming.
Yet it is never a bad thing; whenever the fire has came for me it has always been a lesson, or a teaching point, or an unfolding of knowledge.
The term every cloud has a silver lining springs to mind, but it's not as good as rebirth.
I'll be using rebirth from now on. Not change, not forward momentum, no, because that lacks the essence of the beautiful transformation that rebirth is.
A caterpillar doesn't just change into an amazing butterfly; it's far more complex than that.
When we change as people we shed our old states; we let go of the old and move forward with the new. We are essentially reborn. Like a bright Phoenix from the ashes.
And many times with that too.
Change is actually a hard thing to do in this world.
That's why psychiatric wards have suicide prevention failsafe's in everything that's likely to cause damage.
It's not because the Nurses are mean and they have you in chains, no, it's because they try and build coping mechanisms for you so that whatever brought you in there doesn't happen again.
Yet for that you have to change -- sometimes to the very core depending how severe the condition.
And some people would rather kill themselves than peer into the horrors in their souls; the toll too steep, the mirror too vile, the valley too deep.
Change is much harder than you think.
But it's not my fault, and it's certainly not your fault -- for this world we live in has rigid guidelines that must be followed.
Anyone falling outside those parameters deemed weird or outcasted; there are services and institutions that help these people get back on track, toe the line, keep as normal.
Change is hard because it's meant to be hard. You're not supposed to anger the machine, or understand the machine, or even best the machine.
You're supposed to be used by the machine.
Because the machine dominates.
It does not want you to change because in doing so then you begin to see the machine for what it is; that it needs you more than you need it.
Power is something you give, not take.
The machine needs your power.
It's something I've always wondered, for years, how can people not see that our leaders need us, and not the other way around -- why don't we just go and do our own thing and avoid the bumf of Politics and men in suits arguing over themselves.
They want war? Great, they should be the first to sign up.
We can just sit here growing our little gardens.
But people vote, and they do so in their droves thinking that it will matter and it does not. A vote is not a vote for a candidate, it's a signature that you are still part of the system, that you are still obedient. That you still preserve the machine.
But rebirth is coming soon, it's on the horizon.
Fire does not ask if you're ready and it will take you kicking or screaming whether you like it or not.
We are headed towards a new world, a new way of living, a new type of society.
There is much healing to go through but an era of abundance will help a lot with that; where humans are in unity, harmonized, and work together.
The way of for someone to win another person has to lose is coming to an end.
Mark my words.
I build for that future.
We will be one of the first.
