There is one thing I still struggle with as an adult and specially as a father. I don't know how am I supposed to take a step back because I am a father of two little daughters and my intention is protect them in every circumstances. But they are growing too fast that I don't realize my mistakes and honestly I should let them be independent. My instinct as a father is to be there for my children. Once my elder daughter was trying to do her school homework and she was not good with math. My first reaction was to come and help her. I actually started walking towards her. Then I stopped and thought maybe I should let her try first. So I stood there quietly and watched.
She was having a hard time with math and made a mistake but she was still trying. Then she made another mistake. I almost stepped in again because that is what I usually do. But this time I waited. After a few more tries she figured it out herself. It was such a small thing and nothing special really happened. She just managed to do something without my help. As a father I think about protecting my children and it means I gotta help them solve every problem in their lives but that's not always possible. Sometimes I should take a step back and stand nearby and let them struggle a little. So parenting is something I am still learning in my 50s.
The fun part of raising kids is that I always thought that it would be about teaching them. What nobody told me about was that they also teach you when to keep your mouth shut and when to refrain from interfering. I am still making mistakes and I always do too much whenever I see my kids struggling. But I am learning that my job is not to make every possible challenge go away. Sometimes all that I have to do is be there for them and let them find a way out on their own. Perhaps that is what a good adult is supposed to learn but I am still learning it myself.
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