I was in jail. I dropped the soap. I farted once. It saved my ass

Some day, and this day may never come, I will die.

My sister fell. She broke her leg. Mother told me to bathe her, so I did. It was nice. I liked her thighs. They were smooth. They occupy my thoughts. Next time, I touched her breasts. I watched her undress.

I farted once they shrugged it off. I farted again they took offense. I farted again they took up arms. I farted again we won the war. I farted once.

I farted once. It hurt, she was my first kiss. She heard it, she ran off, I cried. I farted once. It got me a job. I was wearing a very nice suit when the sphincter let loose. The other guy waiting for

On some days, I watch many young ladies walk by, fresh vulvas and all. They appear graceful, adorned with gifts of their undeservedly wealthy mediocre husbands. Yet I feel no resentment. I accept the

Here are the rules: The person to post the best caption will receive all the Steem this post generates. Good luck, and may the odds be with you.

Round people with round offspring… perfect spheres are indigenous to suburban America. Their proportions are always overwhelming, sometimes in a good way. However, their lack of discipline is greatly worrying

I am an old man. Since turning 70 much about life has changed. I weigh my decisions differently now, as a moderate erection may be the end of me. I never thought my strong libido to be a curse, but alas

I am a middle-aged white housewife. I cannot remember when I was last pleasured by my husband. Sometimes I open the medicine cabinet after he leaves for work, and try mixing and matching. When Pablo comes

This is me introducing me. I am The Rambler King. Look at my work ye mighty and despair. I am The Rambler King, King of air.