I farted once. It hurt, she was my first kiss. She heard it, she ran off, I cried.
I farted once. It got me a job. I was wearing a very nice suit when the sphincter let loose. The other guy waiting for the interview had a shitty suit so the fart was assumed to be his. I got the job.
I farted once. It killed many. I was sitting in the leading car of a subway train, I farted loud, the train conductor started to laugh. Another fart sneaked out, the conductor lost it, we crashed. 13 died that night.
I farted once.